I live on a farm and I'm horny,
Out here where it's wild and it's free
The laws don't allow..us to be with a cow
But I'm such a beast for best-i-al-i-ty..

Just reached puberty and it's thrillin'
Tho' there are no ladies near by,
There's females that give
Right out here where I live,
Each night after chores, I grab a ladder and try..

Oh golly! I'm gonna' love me a heifer,
A heifer and heifer, again
I tried a plump hen, she just fluffed me off with feathers
I tried to ride horses, and they back kicked Gentle Ben
To my sweet bovine beauties, I'm faithful
They please me, and please me again
I'm gonna' be there for heifer and heifer,
For heifer and heifer, a man

I keep it hushed up, never told anybody
They'd probably lock me away..
I've got a lot to share, love how their big eyes just stare,
After milkin' time, in the barn is where we play..

Often try a few tricks with my Brownies
Lay them on their back's what I do
Then climb high in the barn, to the haymow, gosh darn..
And right on their "Paduzzy"
Jump and land with a, "Woo"..

I tell ya' I've got a cravin' for heifer,
For heifer and heifer, a man..

I tried a plump hen, she just fluffed me off with feathers
I tried to ride horses, and they back kicked Gentle Ben
To my sweet bovine beauties, I'm faithful
Our country affair never ends..
I'm gonna' be here for heifer and heifer,
For heifer and heifer, a man..

I'm gonna' be here for heifer and heifer, for heifer and heifer,
For heifer and heifer, for heifer and heifer, a man..