Song Parodies -> "Criminal In New York"

Original Song Title:

"Englishman In New York"

^(MP3)

Original Performer:

"Criminal In New York"

Parody Written by:

The Lyrics

This past month or so, I've been watching a number of rather fascinating videos on a YouTube channel by a certain real estate guy named Cash Jordan who's lately taken to documenting New York City's decline and downfall as it happens.

I don't pay bus fare, I sneak in the rear;
I like to freeload for my ride.
Don't like to pay for stuff, I don't do honest work;
I'm a freeloading New York jerk.

You see me shoplift on your camera;
Though I'm caught, not terrified.
If arrested, soon I'll walk;
Don't get punished much in New York.

Oh-oh!
I'm a criminal; I'm a leeching criminal:
I'm a freeloader in New York.
Oh-oh!
I'm a criminal; I'm a thieving criminal:
I'm a shoplifter in New York.

If crimes are "victimless" as some fools say,
With those crimes, I'll get away;
Thanks to bail reform, I don't stay long in jail:
I repeat these crimes most every day.

Oh-oh!
I'm a criminal; I'm a brazen criminal:
I'm a freeloader in New York.
Oh-oh!
I'm a criminal; I'm a career criminal:
I'm a shoplifter in New York.

Signalled generosity can lead to an atrocity:
New York City's not the only one
Lawless personality has brought more criminality;
"Migrants" and urban blight have overrun.

[Sax & Drum Solo]

Takes more than good intent for good results;
Takes more than a law to prevent crime.
Between virtue signals and racist-baiting cults,
I don't think New York's coming back this time.

Worst of our criminals is government;
Devil's in New York to stay.
It takes these Marxists to cause such an epic fail;
New York's Hell, no matter what they say.

New York's Hell, no matter what they say.
New York's Hell, no matter what they say.
Oh-oh!
(New York's Hell, no matter what they say.)
I'm a criminal; I'm a leeching criminal:
(New York's Hell, no matter what they say.)
I'm a freeloader in New York.
Oh-oh!
(New York's Hell, no matter what they say.)
I'm a criminal; I'm a thieving criminal:
(New York's Hell, no matter what they say.)
I'm a shoplifter in New York.
Oh-oh!
(New York's Hell, no matter what they say.)
I'm a criminal; I'm a brazen criminal:
(New York's Hell, no matter what they say.)
Oh-oh!
I'm a freeloader in New York.
Oh-oh!
(New York's Hell, no matter what they say.)
I'm a criminal; I'm a career criminal:
(New York's Hell, no matter what they say.)
I'm a shoplifter in New York.
(New York's Hell...)

While he doesn't hesitate to take note of the many problems the more recent influx of illegal aliens ("migrants") into his city has caused, something Cash Jordan points out is that the city was already having trouble with a lot of these crimes back before the government foolishly declared the place a "sanctuary city" and thereby invited the invasion. An illegal alien who's already breaking the law just by being here doesn't have to be a genius to figure out that if the city refuses to enforce the law against its local criminals, it won't do anything about any crimes its more recently arrived population may commit either.

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