If it’s true appetite growed
Then you should smooth top-pings bestowed
As taste befits
Put it on a Ritz

Cheeses ripe from cow or a goat
Bits of tripe (that’s gut of a shoat)
Or some grits
Put it on a Ritz

Yes it’s not true meal on which to dine-y
But it still tastes good with glass of wine-y
Crackers tiny!

Come, let's fix some topped with jelly
Or some pick-les from the deli
Use what fits
Put it on a Ritz

Caviar, anchovies too
Any meat but kangaroo
Gouda, dip or jam on there
Chili rows, that’s if you dare

Use Ritz - and spare tortillas
Want switch? Spread criadillas!
Peanut butter’s fine
For a crumble-y time

So break out your best Bordeaux
Open a pack where fine viands go
For flavour hits
Put it on a Ritz

Hors d’ouvre sliced: add some escargot
Miniscule and sloppily joes
Perfect fits
Put it on a Ritz

Fresh ones crumbled finely in your soup or
Tiny shards to stick on your chalupa
Or with grouper!

But must watch for salmonella
(That’s not fish, though, I must tella)
That’s the pits
If it’s on a Ritz

Toppings when consumed you thought were super
Biding time ‘cus now you’re on the pooper
Thrown for loop-a!

In the loo you had to go
Let it go thru: what’s laid you low
In bathroom sits
Botulism hits
Got it on a Ritz
Got it on a Ritz
Got it on a Ritz

‘Nother chance
‘Nother - chance…

Cheese fondue or pimentos
Vegemite too, and pilchards so
In rationed bits
Put it on a Ritz