Young goalie, the subject of forwards' fantasies,
They're thinking 'I'll rip one right past this weak pansy'.
Not this time, I'm longing to get my play off chance;
You want a piece of me, skate down here and we'll dance,

Don't crowd me, don't crowd me, don't crowd me in the crease,
Don't crowd me, don't crowd me, don't crowd me in the crease...

There's one dork in the slot, he's looking for the net,
He's open, puck's passed there, but one check and he's all wet,
Ref sees it, he whistles, a 2-minute minor's called,
No problem, at least now that cheater just got mauled...

Don't crowd me, don't crowd me, don't crowd me in the crease,
Don't crowd me, don't crowd me, don't crowd me in the crease...

Their right wing wants to fight, he skates in with stick high,
I'm chillin', I back off, and catch the ref'ree's eye -
It's no use, we're at it, the linesman sends him off,
I guess that, he forgot, I slash like Nabokov

Don't crowd me, don't crowd me, don't crowd me in the crease,
Don't crowd me, don't crowd me, don't crowd me in the crease...