I tell you, it won’t do, I can’t aspire
Journ’list to be, whose world’s now highly mired
Hmm! On net, I see
Story promising intrigue

Had he, a night time of wanderin’ in unfoldin’ scene
He arrang-ed his nuts lassoed somewhat extreme
Then, in act prolonged
Tied to neck and pulled them strong, baby

A simple arrest, fettered was Richard Quest
Volunteered (slightly dumb): “Pockets I have, full of meth”
And stuck in his shoe! A sex toy - so absurd I’d say
In Central Park - baby, good way to end up dead...

Wasn’t smart to go to park the other night, I’m here to say
They denied, did the cops, yeah they quashed display
Just as long as you’re squeezing your charms
Cries of glee will point out your disgrace

And at C N N, Ex-ecs had heart arrest
Could have been so much worse, coulda been wearing a dress
So, the muck-raking starts, this parody, it’s words convey
Though, back in Old Dart, you know, he’ll make front page, big spread

A crime, it turned into, his morning-night stroll
Was he looking out for the public, to ‘poll’?
“I’m a re-al-ly decent guy on the whole”
Judge, maybe, ain’t so sure...

Since your arrest (you!)
Bet you’ve been really stressed
Bet it got better when, sentencing you did get
Ooh, a counselling start
They’ll hang on every word you say
Rope tricks, don’t impart, if you know
Baby, you wanna get ahead
Oooh, Richard Quest!