I want you to know that I'm happy for you
I wish nothing but the best for you both
An Asian version of me
Is she a good cook like me
Would she make food for you on a skewer
Does she speak Mandarin Chinese
Does she have slant eyes like me
I'm sure she makes a really excellent dim sum

'Cause the food that I gave that I made
Wasn't able to make it enough for you to be satisfied, no
And every time you eat chow mein
Does she know how you said
You ate chicken with lots of rice, lots of rice
But there's no soy sauce

And I'm here to remind you
Of the mess you left in the kitchen
It's not fair to deny me
Of all that orange chicken
You, you, you oughta know

You seem very full; things look peaceful
I'm not quite as full; I thought you should know
Did you forget about me, Mr. Teriyaki
I hate to bug you in the middle of dinner
It was a slap in the face how quickly I set your place
And now you're stuffing your face like a trucker

'Cause the joke that you made 'bout the food that I gave
And I'm not gonna bake as soon as you wink your eye
And every time you eat some food off someone else's plate
I hope you choke on it, well did you choke on it?

And I'm here to remind you
Of the mess you left in the kitchen
It's not fair to deprive me
Of all that orange chicken
You, you, you oughta know