Blameless
by Miss Mozell
(a parody of Shameless, by Garth Brooks)

Well, I'm blameless--officer just hear my plea,
don't believe in what you see.
I can explain it all.

It's not my car, but a friend loaned it to me.
I didn't stop because it's chugging, see?
I was afraid I'd stall.

You know that I'm not a man who's ever been
in trouble with the law. Oh? Well, then again,
if they found a record, that computer lied--
I've been arrested, but never tried.

I'm blameless. No, sir, I ain't had no beer.
Just some whiskey, oh, but never fear...
the tequila makes me straight.

And I think that baggie laying on the floor
is filled with sage and nothing more.
Put those cuffs away, now wait!

You see now all my life I've been kicked around.
Never had a break, was treated just like a hound.
My dad was a drunk and my mom was a witch,
No wonder I'm a son-of-a--gun.

I never made grades in school above a minus D.
The jocks and nerds made my life a living hell.
The only job I got was down at Mickey D's.
With all the things in life I've lacked
It's no wonder that I've cracked,
Oh, I'm blameless!

You know society has really let me down.
It's their fault that I act like a clown.
I should have gotten help a long time ago
but I slipped through the cracks, oh don't you know...

I got A-D-D!

I'm blameless!
Yeah, I want a lawyer now.
Can't pay for one, anyhow.
Get my lawyer on the phone.

Oh, I'm blameless, blameless as a man can be.
This wasn't even petty larceny.
I said it was a loan.

Oh, I'm blameless. You can't haul me in again.
Oh, I'm blameless. This will be three strikes...

blameless.