3:30 In the morning, no drug stores in sight
Been needin' hemorroid medication, some time before midnight

Sittin' down is rather painful, please don't mind if I stand by

I never knew a case of hemorroids could make a grown man cry.....

(got those hemorroids, hemorroids....)
I tried to ease the pain with whiskey, but you know it didn't work,
Whoever put in those oak bar stools, a complete and total jerk

I guess I'll write a song about it, I suppose you could call it luck,

That I can take a case of hemorroids, and turn it to big bucks.....

(got them hemorroids, hemorroids...)
CHORUS

Hemorroids, all across my butt
Got a goofy hat, and a pickup truck

Chewin' Red Man, Scratchin' my nuts

I'm a country boy, with those hemorroids

She's waitin' by the window, wondrin' where I've been

I ain't been cheatin' on ya baby, needed Preparation H again...

And I'd really love to give in to all your heart's desires,

but please just let me be for now, 'cause I think my butt's on fire...

(got them hemorroids, hemorroids)
REPEAT CHORUS

Hemorroids, all across my butt
Got a goofy hat, and a pickup truck

Chewin' Red Man, scratchin' my nuts

I'm a country boy, with them hemorroids


Copyright 1994 The Artist Formerly Known as Mike
http://www.tafkam.com