His eyes are cold and restless
His wounds have almost healed
And she knows South Florida
Could've changed the way he feels
She knows he lost the White House
And she knows he's going, "Drats!"
Well, they claim they won it, fair and square
It's them damned ol' Democrats

Well, it's dimpled chads
It's pimpled lads
It's the plight of the spotted owl
When they lose in November
Then they don't remember
They won't throw in the towel
It's doers of good
It's Hollywood
It's the eighteen-year-old brats
Lost their money and fame
They've got Al Gore to blame
And they call them all Democrats

She does her best to boost him
When the party comes to call
But his need for it has left him
And all she can do is bawl
And it's "Tipper, hon, I'll be here,"
There's no need for all of that"
You know the woman wants the White House
Like those damned ol' Democrats

Well, it's dimpled chads
It's pimpled lads
It's the plight of the spotted owl
When they lose in November
Then they don't remember
They won't throw in the towel
It's doers of good
It's Hollywood
It's the eighteen-year-old brats
Lost their money and fame
They've got Al Gore to blame
And they call them all Democrats

It'll drive ol' Tipper crazy
It'll drive her man insane
And they'll go on Saturday Night Live
Just to have a glimpse of fame
And some wanna-be's will soon line up
They'll all throw in their hats
For that big prize they've all been chasin'
This party called Democrats

Well, it's dimpled chads
It's pimpled lads
It's the plight of the spotted owl
When they lose in November
Then they don't remember
They won't throw in the towel
It's doers of good
It's Hollywood
It's the eighteen-year-old brats
Lost their money and fame
They've got Al Gore to blame
And they call them all Democrats

It's the fear and the fright
The next election night
And they call them all Democrats