I showed up in shorts,
Tonight I had sports,
But then I got sent to the dean.
I said to his face,
"You should give us a break,
Outside the temp's 83.
Your dress code's a joke,
It makes us all croak,
It was drafted in 1904!
Now, just wait 'til tomorrow when we drive home our point,
The girls will look like whores!"

Now I've got friends with sad faces
And my coach is asking "What in the blazes
Did you say to the dean?
Now you've let down the team!"
I said, "I'm not much for demonstrations,
But the dress code is an abomination!
So tomorrow you'll see
Some really red faces!"

"Well, I guess I was wrong,"
I said to my mom,
"For smarting off to the dean,
But I was telling the truth,
Tomorrow at school
The girls won't be wearing jeans.
And you'll see the surprise
And the lust in his eyes
When he makes his way down the hall.
The whole place is rigged with Smart Phones and webcams,
And we will tape it all!"

And he'll have friends with sad faces
As the principal yells, "What in the blazes
Is going on here?
Is the dress code not clear?
Now, I won't stand for such disgraces,
So put the students back in their places
And make them go home
With really sad faces!"

(Spoken) Now, I know what you're probably thinking:
I'm not telling the whole story, right?
Right. So I hope you don't mind,
But I decided to write another verse
So y'all know the whole, complete truth of the matter.

You're lighting a bong
And eyeing that gong
To stop the third verse to this song.
The man with a bag
Was dancing a rag,
And he didn't last very long.
Now Earl's shakin' bass,
And Roy's whoopin' ass,
And you're sittin' there callin' 'em hicks.
Well, I think I'll strike
That big gong myself,
And you can kiss my ......!"

'Cause you'll have friends with sad faces
And you'll all be asking "Why in the blazes
Is our show off the air?
Come on, it's no fair!"
Now I'm not much for recrimination,
But the "Gong Show" is an abomination!
So next season you'll see
Our happy faces!

So next season you'll see
Our happy faces!