I was drinkin' some brews
I was crushin' them blues
When my wife starts her bitching at me

She said you always lie
Sit around and get high
And never pay attention to me

I took my last sniff
Gave her chin a nice biff
I grabbed my beer and peeled out

Now I’m on a road
Like the wind man I'm blown
Hittin' this here tree there's no doubt

So bring! me! two shots of Dilaudid
One for each arm
Let’s mainline the Hydromorphone
A third one could not harm

Pain I've got alotta
From wrecking off in my car
So bring me two shots of Dilaudid
Some Jack Daniels and a few Xanax bars

Oh now I’ve gotta say
That this IV feels great
The medic winkin’ down at me

Eases my brain
By killing my pain
The blood rush that opiates bring

I'll soon have a bed
A hot nurse and get fed
An IV I'll drip on my own

I’ve gotta say
That I think I’m gonna stay
‘Cause the ER sounds much better than home

Now bring! me! two shots of Dilaudid
One for each arm
Let’s mainline the Hydromorphone
A third one could not harm

Pain I've got alotta
From wrecking off in my car
So bring me two shots of Dilaudid
A Pina Colada and three Xanax bars