I am a man who walks alone
On public footpaths near the road
Too close to water - and I'm gone

You may call them feathered friends
Some of you even feed them bread
But you won't see me near the pond

Fear of the duck, fear of the duck
I have a constant fear a waterfowl is near
Fear of the duck, fear of the duck
I have a phobia there's one surveilling me

As you run your finger down the page
To understand your fear of drakes
Swimming, waddling or in flight

Sometimes when you're scared to look it up
Anatidaephobia
The fear waterfowl's watching you

Fear of the duck, fear of the duck
I have a constant fear a waterfowl is near
Fear of the duck, fear of the duck
I have a phobia there's one surveilling me

Have you ever heard a quack echo?
Are ducks real? Do dolphins know?
I wish I was a pipistrelle

But I must quicken up the pace
I have to fly now, like a train
The Mallard's all I can think of

Fear of the duck, fear of the duck
I have a constant fear a waterfowl is near
Fear of the duck, fear of the duck
I have a phobia there's one surveilling me

Fear of the duck, fear of the duck
Fear of the duck, fear of the duck
Fear of the duck, fear of the duck
Fear of the duck, fear of the duck

Watching horror films is no problem
Live/animated/CGI
Not if it's Disney's Donald Duck

All waterfowl gives me a pain
It makes me soil the porcelain
There's no relief - look, Toilet Duck!

Fear of the duck, fear of the duck
I have a constant fear a waterfowl is near
Fear of the duck, fear of the duck
I have a phobia there's one surveilling me

Fear of the duck, fear of the duck
I have a constant fear a waterfowl is near
Fear of the duck, fear of the duck
I have a phobia there's one surveilling me

When I'm walking on my own
I fear I'm never just alone