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Song Parodies -> "I'm No Millionaire"
Original Song Title:
"I've Been Everywhere"
Original Performer:
Johnny Cash
Parody Song Title:
"I'm No Millionaire"
Parody Written by:
Andy Primus
The Lyrics
I’m so dreadin’ this month because the fam’ly all expect a load
Gotta spend all my money; it’s enough to make my head explode
Should I get ‘em cheap an’ tacky tat, I jus’ can’t decide
But they’re all askin’ for so much it makes me want to run an’ hide
The tons of presents that they want is gettin’ out of hand
So I say, “Sod it”; I’m thinkin’ this year’s Chris’mas should be banned
Life is very unfair, man
Strife is makin’ me swear, man
I’ve lost my goddam hair, man
My head’s so friggin’ bare, man
My family jus’ don’t care, man
Life is very unfair
They’ve written:
Mince pie, a hi-fi, Wi-Fi, mini camper
Lion cub, marine sub, bath tub, an’ a hamper
Cattle prod, iPod, proof o’ God, tumble dryer
New car, whirly spar, better pa, tater fryer
Armchair, Frigidaire, silverware, pet gorilla
Stockin’ filler, crate o’ Miller and a chiller…it’s a killer
Kids are very unfair, man
Daughter’s causin’ despair, man
She wants a piebald mare, man
An’ stuff to fill her lair, man
My daughter can drive me spare, man
Kids are very unfair
She’s written:
Lip ring, nose ring, clit ring, a fluffy bunny
Bieber clone, iPhone, cash loan, boy for cunni
Sherbet dip, leather whip, acid trip, CD player
Xbox, pet fox, bobby socks, ganja weigher
Tiny butt, tiny gut, collie mutt, winter mitts
Bong hits, girlie bits, bigger tits,…an’ no zits
Kids are very unfair, man
Son is causin’ despair, man
He wants a grizzly bear, man
An’ bling that he can wear, man
He’s makin’ me want to swear, man
Son is very unfair
He’s written:
Castle keep, new Jeep, two sheep, dick enhancer
Leather gag, porno mag, hooker shag, nudie dancer
Chess board, Swiss sword, bungee cord, speedboat
Haversack, Cadillac, midi pack, billy goat
Chicken run, pellet gun, naked ho nun, roller coaster
Chicken roaster, pitta toaster…C. Schiffer poster
Life is very unfair, man
Wife is very unfair, man
She wants a lion’s share, man
She says, “Jus’ grow a pair, man, …
An’ get it all or I swear, man, …
You’ll need medical care”
She’s written:
James Bond, garden pond, magic wand, massive freezer
Garden gnome, bath foam, large home, pussy pleaser
Gucci bits, more glitz, firmer tits, flatter belly
Nice rear, a Duff beer, a reindeer, bigger telly
Jimmy Choos, winter cruise, bar full o’ booze, Kansas CD
Who CD, Feeder CD, Dodge CD…Fodder CD
I’m no millionaire, man
I’m no millionaire, man
Of cash I’ve got none spare, man
They’ve stripped my assets bare, man
Of trouble I’ve got my share, man
I’m no millionaire
I’m no millionaire
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Voting Results
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Voting Breakdown
The following represent how many people voted for each category.
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| 1 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 2 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 3 | 1 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 4 | 0 | 0 | 1 | ||||||||
| 5 | 13 | 14 | 13 |
User Comments
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Absolutely epic opus, Andy, so many hilarious images and just about every one is a winner, but the sex aids were the best: 'fluffy bunny' - 'boy for cunni', 'dick enhancer' - 'nudie dancer' were just two of many inspired rhymes throughout. One of the best I've seen in the three months or so I've been here. Hope 555 gives some Xmas budget relief.
Do you know the Aussie version of OS by Lucky Starr? Never knew it was a cover till now..
Do you know the Aussie version of OS by Lucky Starr? Never knew it was a cover till now..
I agree with LL..an.extremely creative and fun read...sheer parody poetry...
Definitely, a commenting and voting drought here on the site...at least, today...this parody deserves a lot more attention..I can tell you put a lot of time and effort into it..
HAHAHAHA! 5's!
Have to agree with AFW. Good, witty work went into this, but the commentators are far and few between.
AH! NO! you made me spit my water on my monitor and now it's ruined! oh well totally worth it! 5
For that amount of funny , you had to "cash" in a million shares..............
Wow - that's a rather racy family you have there. I think you need to have a talk with the son and daughter... ;-)
Get the cattle prod, but use it on the kids...
If you ever find that proof o''God, send it this way. ;) All of the gift-list verses were LOL; can't single any out without copy/paste them all. Santa is sending you $555, and hopes you'll spend it on yourself. xD
@ WarrenB: The purist in me wants to call those who leave comments "commenters", although "commentator" for news anchor, sportscaster, etc. is correct. Yet:
"Usage note Since the late 18th century, commentate has been used transitively with the meaning “to annotate” and, since the mid 19th, intransitively with the meaning “to make explanatory or critical comments.” These uses are now rare. Recently, commentate has developed the additional transitive sense “to deliver a commentary on” and the intransitive sense “to serve as a commentator.” These uses are occasionally criticized as journalistic jargon."
If "commentate" is journalistic jargon, then it seems that "commentator" is a derivative of that, and hence has a superfluous syllable. Very strange, our language is.
p.s.: I prefer Burbank Russet, but if they're not avaiable, I'll eat a commontater. (pref. one of the hot chicks on F*x News)
If you ever find that proof o''God, send it this way. ;) All of the gift-list verses were LOL; can't single any out without copy/paste them all. Santa is sending you $555, and hopes you'll spend it on yourself. xD
@ WarrenB: The purist in me wants to call those who leave comments "commenters", although "commentator" for news anchor, sportscaster, etc. is correct. Yet:
"Usage note Since the late 18th century, commentate has been used transitively with the meaning “to annotate” and, since the mid 19th, intransitively with the meaning “to make explanatory or critical comments.” These uses are now rare. Recently, commentate has developed the additional transitive sense “to deliver a commentary on” and the intransitive sense “to serve as a commentator.” These uses are occasionally criticized as journalistic jargon."
If "commentate" is journalistic jargon, then it seems that "commentator" is a derivative of that, and hence has a superfluous syllable. Very strange, our language is.
p.s.: I prefer Burbank Russet, but if they're not avaiable, I'll eat a commontater. (pref. one of the hot chicks on F*x News)
I wanna go party at Andy's place!!!
@ATCING- hmmm. That's news to me....
Lifeliver - Thanks & glad you enjoyed it so much. The Aus version is the original (written 1959 & released 1962). Hank Snow did a US version in 1962 & then J Cash covered that one in the 90’s. There are now numerous versions from various countries.
AFW – Thanks. I did spend quite a bit of time on this. I read quite a few other versions in the index & enjoyed your “stuff in the car trunk” one. V & C’s have picked up now so guess everyone was just later than usual to their PC’s yesterday. “All’s well that ends well” as they say.
Jonathan – Thanks for the multiple HA’s.
WarrenB – Thanks. Like ATCING, I’ve always thought of commenters for people leaving comments and commentators for things like sporting events. Maybe it’s more of a UK thing or maybe I’m just not up to date with current trends!
Graye – Thanks. Ask for a new monitor for X-mas. I don’t recall seeing your name before on one of my parodies – are you a pseudonym for one of the regular writers?
Dave W. – Thanks. Unfortunately, any shares that I’ve ever had have long since been cashed in and spent by the family.
Meriadoc – Thanks. I think they need more than just a talking to. Maybe I should send them off to a strict boarding school.
All That CliTTers – Thanks. I’m with you when it comes to commenters & commentators. Can’t get much for $555 nowadays – that may just about cover a X-mas tree & a box of mince pies. Maybe you could add a couple of noughts on the end.
Peregrin – Thanks. If you’re ever in the UK…… (I think you’ll know where to find me!)
AFW – Thanks. I did spend quite a bit of time on this. I read quite a few other versions in the index & enjoyed your “stuff in the car trunk” one. V & C’s have picked up now so guess everyone was just later than usual to their PC’s yesterday. “All’s well that ends well” as they say.
Jonathan – Thanks for the multiple HA’s.
WarrenB – Thanks. Like ATCING, I’ve always thought of commenters for people leaving comments and commentators for things like sporting events. Maybe it’s more of a UK thing or maybe I’m just not up to date with current trends!
Graye – Thanks. Ask for a new monitor for X-mas. I don’t recall seeing your name before on one of my parodies – are you a pseudonym for one of the regular writers?
Dave W. – Thanks. Unfortunately, any shares that I’ve ever had have long since been cashed in and spent by the family.
Meriadoc – Thanks. I think they need more than just a talking to. Maybe I should send them off to a strict boarding school.
All That CliTTers – Thanks. I’m with you when it comes to commenters & commentators. Can’t get much for $555 nowadays – that may just about cover a X-mas tree & a box of mince pies. Maybe you could add a couple of noughts on the end.
Peregrin – Thanks. If you’re ever in the UK…… (I think you’ll know where to find me!)
Excellent stuff, Andy :-)
Late thanks to Phil for the v & c
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