Is he toking, I want to know
How can I tell if he's on the dope
Is it in his eyes
Oh no, though they look puffy
Or between his thighs
On no, that's not enoughy
If you want to know if he's on the dope
It's in his piss
That's where it is

Is it in his hair
Oh no, he'd be appalled
If you found it there
Because he's nearly bald
If you want to know if he's on the dope
It's in his piss
That's where it is
It's in his piss
That's where it is

Grab him, and hold him tight
Get your sample bottle ou-ou-out
If he's been smoking cannabis
It's there in his piss

Is it in his eyes
Oh no, that's not the way
Though his pupils may dilate
If you want to know if he's on the dope
It's in his piss
That's where it is

repeat ad nauseam