I hear the beer farts and rancid burping -
Oh what a festive sound!
It's like the sweet tone - of birdies chirping
From all the brew that we have downed.

They stink the room up - such awful whiffing!
It almost makes us sick.
With all the nox'ous - gas that we're sniffing,
For gosh sake - no one flick your BIC!

What is it in that - old beer that causes us
To get gassed up like so many Hindenburgs?
Here comes more beer farts and rancid burping,
Methane enough to melt icebergs!


It was many years ago - drinking caseloads full of Stroh -
That our nostrils first reeled from that putrid smell.
Suck it up and fake a smile - for in just a little while
It's not so bad when you are drunk as hell!


Oh smell the beer farts and rancid burping.
Although this stuff lacks class,
Just hold your nose as - your beer you're slurping.
What is a party without gas?

Don't hold it in, dude! - There's no use groaning.
No need to fret or pout.
And soon the whole room - will all be moaning
Because this time "Fred's really out!" *

No use complaining - it's all part of the deal.
Don't berate your friends - don't take them all to task.
Endure the beer farts and rancid burping
And next time bring your best gas mask!


Gag! Choke and cough!
Guys! Knock it off!