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Song Parodies -> "Jewish Christmas"

Original Song Title:

"White Christmas (Short Version)"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Bing Crosby

Parody Song Title:

"Jewish Christmas"

Parody Written by:

Robert D. Arndt Jr.

The Lyrics

I wanted to write this as "Kike Christmas" to rhyme, but too many people might have been offended, so forgive the extra syllable...
I'm leery of a Jewish Christmas
No Christmas tree with those folks
Matzah Balls throwin', with Jewish couples goin'
Born was a Savior, don't they know?

I'm leery of a Jewish Christmas
No Christmas ham sliced just right
They're eatin' Chinese food alright
Or Kosher deli sandwiches tonight!

I'm leery of a Jewish Christmas
Some keep their shop lights aglow
They keep sellin' which is off-puttin'
To merchants whose shops are now closed!

Everybody knows... it's Christmas!

I'm leery of a Jewish Christmas
Even "Hanukkah bushes" aren't right
Jesus was born on this night*
Their rejection just increases their plight

By all means, flee to Synagogues, your kind!
* not really, Christmas is Roman pagan holiday Sol Invictus celebrating the birth of the Sun. Jesus was born during Tishri (Sept/Oct) during the Roman Census and celestial events of planet conjunction forming the Bethlehem Star. Shepherds were still in the fields meaning prior to November.

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 LittleLots
Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
Overall Score: 



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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.7
How Funny: 4.7
Overall Rating: 4.7

Total Votes: 28

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   2
 2
 2
 
 2   0
 0
 0
 
 3   0
 0
 0
 
 4   0
 0
 0
 
 5   26
 26
 26
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Jonathan - February 12, 2016 - Report this comment
whether Jesus was born in September or December with this writing being in February one thing's for sure he wasn't born yesterday! 5's
Tim Hall - February 14, 2016 - Report this comment
If you were a Frank Zappa fan, you would have wrote this parody to Jewish Princess.
Goy - February 14, 2016 - Report this comment
I wouldn't worry about the syllable count. Go ahead and use "kike". Your pacing sucks all over the place anyway. So if all the fuss is about a pagan celebration of the Winter Solstice, why are you put off about the way Jews observe it? And presumably all other non-Christians?
Rob Arndt - February 14, 2016 - Report this comment
Thanks Tim for the heads up! @Goy... why troll? Nothing wrong with my pacing here and not overly concerned about topic except to say that Jewish folks already have Hanukkah. Why resort to counter-Xmas festivities? Btw, kike is short for kikel which means circle. Originated at Elkus Island for Jews who did not want to sign with an X because it represents the Cross of Christianity. They signed with circles instead! FYI
Rob Arndt - February 14, 2016 - Report this comment
* Ellis Island
Wow! - February 14, 2016 - Report this comment
"Nothing wrong with my pacing here". Seriously? You can't see it? Your idea of what pacing is seems very different to that of most others here.

I'm dreaming of a white Christmas (8)
I'm leery of a Jewish Christmas (9)

Just like the ones I used to know (8)
No Christmas tree with those folks (7)

Where the treetops glisten (6)
Matzah Balls throwin' (5)

and children listen (5)
with Jewish couples goin' (7)

To hear sleigh bells in the snow (7)
Born was a Savior, don't they know? (8)

It didn't get any better.
Rob Arndt - February 14, 2016 - Report this comment
Song still can be sung. What's a syllable +/-?
Everett Dirksen - February 15, 2016 - Report this comment
A dropped syllable one line, an extra syllable the next line -- pretty soon you're talking bad pacing.
Goy - February 15, 2016 - Report this comment
@Wow!: You went to the trouble of nailing the sloppy parodist with his own careless work, showing that he can't get away with rush jobs to increase his production. Congratulations! We who struggle for perfection salute you!
Rob Arndt - February 15, 2016 - Report this comment
Incoming counterfire- hmm, let's see, who here is a perfect parodist with 100% perfect pacing all the time? Um, no one! Even TT the dead pacing cop was not perfect. A perfect parodist akin to Weird Al or Bart Baker parodies not only the OS, but the artist and his music videos. If perfect, try matching each word of each line by syllable and rhyme. I have seen all of the vets here make mistakes with syllabic count, misspellings, typos, wrong artist, wrong decade, etc... Yes, I am a production machine and am proud of it. Am near my first 100 parodies for this year. That's more than a large group of parodists here. I also believe that I have the right to modify my parodies, lengthening and shortening them at will (as others sometimes do), adding or subtracting syllables, rearranging song architecture, and using unconventional materials to parody. Say what you want, but I remain unmoved. Until you are perfect, all you have are opinions and observations. Wow. Underwhelming.
Rob Arndt - February 15, 2016 - Report this comment
Btw Pseudonym Goy, please be so kind as to submit your author page for syllabic scrutiny. That's only fair, right? Talk the talk, walk the walk.
Rob Arndt - February 15, 2016 - Report this comment
Gee, no Everett Dirksen author either.

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