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Song Parodies -> "The Heedless Salesman"
Original Song Title:
"The Headless Horseman"
Original Performer:
Bing Crosby
Parody Song Title:
"The Heedless Salesman"
Parody Written by:
Agrimorfee
The Lyrics
OS https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ysNSKrH8hHo from Walt Disney's 'Adventures of Ichabod And Mr. Toad', wherein Bing Crosby sings about a horrific ghoul. Let us transpose the words of this song to a modern-day horrific ghoul, in the ersatz voices of four of his former colleagues.
Start a new round
They will commiserate
They’re out from the White house as of late
Long about midnight,
Flynn starts the party
Joins Bannon and Spicer and Scaramucci
They drink to scorn and outright lies
“How screwed we were,” they rhapsodize
(Flynn): He’s so fat
(Spicer): His skin’s so thin
(Scaramucci): He should be in the loony bin!
(Bannon): Let me tell you brothers
Was a dreadful fright
To see him watch Fox News all night!
All the cons thought the right would now be free
A wall to put up, reciprocity
Cinton bad? This one is worse
He’s a heedless salesman
Bubble’s burst!
(Spicer): That’s right!
What a fright on election night!
(Scaramucci): When he’s a-tweetin’
In his hand
Braggin’ n’ bleatin’
Cell phone man
Pundits read those tweets and groan
He drops his load while on the throne!
(All): His hair, we swear’s a citrus tone!
(Flynn): He is a mook, such a mook disturbed
Won’t tell us all what he’s really earned
He claims that he won his post far ahead
(All): He had help from Putin The Red!
(Flynn): I got real tired of Sir Orangetop
His regimen is just a flop
And it hasn’t even been a year
(Scaramucci): I think his head is hollow, dear
Don’t tell him his hands are little, he sees them big
Proud to be a male chauvinist pig
Blacks want rights, but then he said
KKK’s “fine folks” instead
(Bannon): And drip, drip, we’d let his news drop
While he’d look for Obama’s deals to chop
But he flopped on the healthcare plan
(All): You can’t reason with this heedless man!
(Spicer): Now they had doubts that my words were so
The news was fake, an imbroglio
I hope someday we’ll help write the book
When they impeach this kooky crook
But think on this, we’ll get Mike Pence
(All): If this dumb moron’s power ends
(Flynn): Well I hope we’ll get some sleep tonight
And Kim Jong Un’s humor gets more bright
His big head so hollow there
We might be dead
Shout out a prayer!
(All): With his fat lip and the thoughts of a mop
He’s out failing to drain his own swamp
The art of this deal ain’t a wise man’s plan
You can’t reason with this heedless man!
They will commiserate
They’re out from the White house as of late
Long about midnight,
Flynn starts the party
Joins Bannon and Spicer and Scaramucci
They drink to scorn and outright lies
“How screwed we were,” they rhapsodize
(Flynn): He’s so fat
(Spicer): His skin’s so thin
(Scaramucci): He should be in the loony bin!
(Bannon): Let me tell you brothers
Was a dreadful fright
To see him watch Fox News all night!
All the cons thought the right would now be free
A wall to put up, reciprocity
Cinton bad? This one is worse
He’s a heedless salesman
Bubble’s burst!
(Spicer): That’s right!
What a fright on election night!
(Scaramucci): When he’s a-tweetin’
In his hand
Braggin’ n’ bleatin’
Cell phone man
Pundits read those tweets and groan
He drops his load while on the throne!
(All): His hair, we swear’s a citrus tone!
(Flynn): He is a mook, such a mook disturbed
Won’t tell us all what he’s really earned
He claims that he won his post far ahead
(All): He had help from Putin The Red!
(Flynn): I got real tired of Sir Orangetop
His regimen is just a flop
And it hasn’t even been a year
(Scaramucci): I think his head is hollow, dear
Don’t tell him his hands are little, he sees them big
Proud to be a male chauvinist pig
Blacks want rights, but then he said
KKK’s “fine folks” instead
(Bannon): And drip, drip, we’d let his news drop
While he’d look for Obama’s deals to chop
But he flopped on the healthcare plan
(All): You can’t reason with this heedless man!
(Spicer): Now they had doubts that my words were so
The news was fake, an imbroglio
I hope someday we’ll help write the book
When they impeach this kooky crook
But think on this, we’ll get Mike Pence
(All): If this dumb moron’s power ends
(Flynn): Well I hope we’ll get some sleep tonight
And Kim Jong Un’s humor gets more bright
His big head so hollow there
We might be dead
Shout out a prayer!
(All): With his fat lip and the thoughts of a mop
He’s out failing to drain his own swamp
The art of this deal ain’t a wise man’s plan
You can’t reason with this heedless man!
Copyright 2017, Agrimorfee, dodging 111s and smirking all the way.
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Voting Results
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Voting Breakdown
The following represent how many people voted for each category.
| Pacing | How Funny | Overall Rating | |||||||||
| 1 | 6 | 6 | 6 | ||||||||
| 2 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 3 | 1 | 1 | 1 | ||||||||
| 4 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 5 | 3 | 3 | 3 |
User Comments
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Almost as ghoulish as the original. You worked a bunch of good Trump jokes into this but you're mising the wall & Covfefe but everything else is on point! Liked the line about his hands the most
You too like Matthias managed to use the different narrators option. Loony bin paced in perfectly and Sir Orangetop was inspired. I'm starting to wonder if Trump will get foot-and/in-mouth disease from the trench foot everyone seems to get in the swamp.
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