If, too many swigs at a bar
Better call a cab, where you are
Never drive "O-Eight" in your car,
The thing to do is have a meal

The meal soaks up alcohol and buys you some time
Might save you from a traffic crime
Those carbohydrates, will decrease your peak
Unfuzz your cranium, unred your cheek
Smashed ain't no way...to be sittin' at the wheel
Be smart and buy yourself a meal...

Unless you'd like to land behind bars
Walk that straight line under the stars
Cross the days off of calendars,
You should be eatin' like a pig

A pig is an animal, or slang for a cop
But, best not to use it if you're stopped..
You slide by cheaper when you're humble, Dude
Not in your favor to be actin' rude..
Unless your funds are unlimited or big
Don't ever call a cop a pig

Unless you'd like to land behind bars
Walk a straight line under the stars
Maybe wind up with several scars..
Look like R. King or filleted fish

A fish can't do anything, after it's been hooked
You'll just get it thrown at you, the book
Keep self preservation as your foremost thought
Lotta' "Yes, Sirs..No, Sirs" anytime you're caught
But, if you don't mind a tin plate for a dish
Well, go ahead and be a fish

Then like a monkey, they'll lock you up
Let you rattle bars with a cup
Price too high for that over brew?
Maybe some tea and a cigar...
Should sub for Swiggin' At A Bar..

Maybe some tea and a cigar...
Should sub for Swiggin' At A Bar