Apparel: I don’t know where to start today.
Got many pair o’ pants; some are tight, some billow away.

Climb into skinny jeans, but I soon jump out;
they show the bulging of my joint; that ain’t thing to tout.
I got some baggy overalls, and so I’m scramblin’ inside,
but the legs are too long and they’re hamperin’ my stride.
Got a double-breasted suit, but it’s a little to glam.
Besides, it doesn’t look so fine with my on-top tam.

Apparel: I don’t know where to start today.
Got many pair o’ pants, but I’m goin’ the Hamlet way.

And right here before me’s a tunic that’s made o’ rayon,
but the design looks like: made by a kid with crayon.
To understate the case: It’s just a little bit loud.
I want folks to be impressed by my duds, but not THAT wowed!
And, rayon’s nothin’ more than pulped wood.
Perhaps I’ll don a monk’s cowl and just pull up the hood.

Apparel: I’m in an indecisive way
Put on a pair o’ pants, but I see that they’re badly frayed.

I finally make a choice today:
I go out with no pants, and a robed judge puts me in graybar flannel.