She wore red Pants of Capri when I saw her
And she looked like a great painting of art
Some groping bum on the street tried to paw her,
Beat him up, and she gave me her heart..

Went to her home in the Bronx, met her mama
She had ten brothers, a large family
Then, through the park, we rode on her pet Llama
Her and me and those Pants of Capri..

It was hot, sunbeams were poppin'
All the scenes were set for love
Perfect day, 'cept for the droppin'
Of some pidgeons, up above..

I whispered soft, "Gretchen, give me your finger"
"No, not there!!" grabbed her hand, and could see
Third digit had been chopped off, just a dinger
Could not marry my Pants of Capri..



It was hot, sunbeams were poppin'
Every scene was set for love
Perfect spot, 'cept for the droppin'
Nasty pidgeons, high above...

I whispered low, "Gretchen, give me that finger"
"No, not there!!" snatched her hand, plain to see
Third digit had been chopped off, stubby dinger
Could not marry my Pants of Capri..
Could not marry my Pants of Capri..

So, I just..threw the ring...in the sea..