My mama done told me, when I was in knee-pants, [1]
My mama done told me, "Pol- ... iticians'll greet, talk
"And give ya the big lie, but when election is won,
"A pol is a two-face, a scurryin' thing
"Who'll easily swing 'twixt true Blue and far Right."

Now campaign's a-squallin'; hear the vain appallin' hooey.
(High drama, spun boldly)
Fear that lonesome fella crowin' Constitution, screwy!
(Spry Ron Paul's gone cold. Oui?)
Abusive and ruinous, slick are attacks a-echoin' back
The skewed news from the fight.
The evenin's sneeze [2] will start the Teas to cryin',
And they've unified their might when upset by Blue hue on the Right.

And take my word, that mockin' herd [3]
Will sing the gladdest kind of song;
They know things are wrong, don't please the Right.

From taxes to Roe v. ... Wade, emphasis will go
Wherever the poll winds blow.
I've seen me some big clowns and I've heard me some big talk,
But there is one thing I know:
A pol is a two-face, a scurryin' thing
Who'll easily swing 'twixt true Blue and far Right.

I'll stomp with delight, should Blues lose to the Right.