Love Miscavige, love Miscavige,
or your reputation he’ll disparage.
He don’t think it’s funny
if you don’t give him all your money.
Love Miscavige, love Miscavige,
or your reputation he will ravage.
If you’ve a truth quest, he
will quickly dispatch his goon sentries.
Try, try, try to penetrate it:
they’ll be refusin’.
Pry, pry, pry, and their tough-tactic thugs
won’t be excusin’.

Love Miscavige, love Miscavige,
or he’ll sic onto you his crew savage.
Land of milk and honey
(rolled in by tons, the fins and ones)
subsidized by extorted money.
Try, try, try to penetrate them:
they’ll be refusin’.
Pry, pry, pry: at best you might get clubbed,
get a contusion.

Suckers ravished, schmucks are ravished,
while Miscavige lives a life that’s lavish.
Relinquish your money:
While he has fun,
you get the dun.
You’re in the dark, but his world’s sunny.