TomKat had their offspring, recently
Congratulations to Tom and Kate-ee
Still, the question in all of our minds, of course, is
What about the genealogy?

Ain't there real good reason to worry?
'Bout their cute newborn, little Suri
When one parent's mind's kinda' furry,
An unhinged old Pop...

Always does that couch jumpy struttin'
Likes to show he's one short, a button
L Ron Hubbard sheep full a' mutton
With a short hair crop...

He's a real weird feller
Common sense, 'ain't round
He's more than middle aged crazy
Without use of make up
He can be a clown
No mission imposs-ibil--i-tee...

Where's his partners, Winkin' and Blinkin'?
He must be Nod, we are a' thinkin'
Kinky brain cells, more may be kinkin'
Apt to blow his top
Let's all pity little Suri With The Unhinged Old Pop!

Was the whacko wand passed from M.J.?
Is that why he, lately, acts this way?
One can only guess at what the loony source is..
Would hope this childbirth brings a saner day...

For that verdict, out, is the jury
On dear sweet newborn, little Suri
Paparazzis are gonna' scurry,
Their flashbulb's will pop

Tom swears he will eat the placenta
"Suri" ..."Princess"..that's what is meant-a
Hope she don't grow up like Tom, such a yenta..
Yak and never stop..

A windy miss who'll rant and rattle along
As angry jays do in clover
We're hopin' more likeness to her mama's strong
We're hopin' it over and over..

We'll put some kind words in this ditty
We're real sure she will grow up pretty
Likely not be like Tommykitty
On a couch to hop
That pretty little Suri With An Unhinged Old Pop

That pretty little Suri With An Unhinged Old Pop