All I can afford's this Honda
A bike I'm not too fond'a
Beneath my breath, I snarl..
But, I'd be one tough biker,
A real "Thunder, lightning striker"
If I only had a "Harl":

Instead of hangin' sissy
I'd make hot girls swoon dizzy
Not call me "Nerdy Carl"
I'd wheely doin' eighty
On the rear'd sit my Old Lady
If I only had a "Harl"

Picture me, all leathery
Sunglasses and a beard
Intimidating, rough and weird..

Low rider seats! Boots! Cleats!

Terrorize a town's my notion
Show Marlon B's emotion
Big grubby hands that gnarl..
I'd be a mean gang banger
Scrappy like on Jerry Spranger,
If I only had a "Harl"

If I only had a "Harl"

Like that cool flick, Easy Rider
Up and down big hills, I'd glide her
And sparkle like a star'll
Peter Fonda, Dennis Hopper..
Menacing upon my chopper
If I only had a "Harl"

Gas station clerks'd stutter
The town folks close their shutter
Say, "Watch out, here comes Carl!"
Play it wild and wooly
Go and bully my old bully
If I only had a "Harl"

Gutsy charm, hairy arms
Large tatoo on my chest
Exposed above my..wind blown vest

I'd own the streets! Boots! Cleats!

Of a pack, I'd be the leader
A Stoner and a Weeder
Keep my lip curled in a snarl..
Boy, I'd cut some crazy capers
Not deliver these damn papers!
If I only had a "Harl"

If I only had a "Harl"