I am muted, so I'm duller
But I'd be a mule with color,
Notice-a-ble, not plain..
And I'd still get my lick in,
But I'd warn before the kickin'
If I only had a bray'n

I'd sure be a busy jackass
No one could call a slack ass
Have notches on my mane..
I'd practice loud hee-hawin'
That would keep the crows a' cawin'
If I only had a bray'n

I'd stand tall in my stall
No butts would be unsore..
I would hee and haw like none heehawed before
And then I'd just heehaw some more..

I'd keep buckin' and a' snortin'
Find a stud horse and go courtin'
Bite off my bridle chain..
Might even kick a roofer,
They'd call me J. Edgar Hoofer,
If I only had a bray'n