I go cleaning Windows™
To earn an honest bob
For a nosey parker
It's an interesting job
Yes, it's a job that just suits me
PC World techie you would be
If you could see what I can see
When I'm cleaning Windows™

Spyware cleaned and popups, too
And then, when it's as good as new
I'll have a little rummage through
When I'm cleaning Windows™

In my profession I'll work hard, but I'll never stop
If I see child pornography, I'll run and call the cops

I found what made that hard drive crash
By looking through the IE cache
Now, *that*'s a rather dodgy stash
When I'm cleaning Windows™

Oh, look, there's pictures, quite a lot
From icy cold to spicy hot
"C:"? Well, I'd rather not
When I'm cleaning Windows™

There's something here looks very weird
Far stranger than it first appeared
A photoshop of Britney, speared
When I'm cleaning Windows™

Oh, it's like confession, avant garde, in my PC shop
As computers are brought to me when e'er the damn things stop

Owners looking so forlorn
Time and time again they've sworn
They didn't know 'bout all that porn
When I'm cleaning Windows™

Surely there's someone who knows
Where they came from, all of those
Gigabytes of videos
When I'm cleaning Windows™

I tell you, guys, it's such a chore
Browsing pix and vidz galore
Especially when it's hard core
When I'm cleaning Windows™

------ finger-flyin' ukulele solo ------

For my discretion, I'll charge more, else you'll face the chop
But please don't call it blackmail, if you want me to stop

I only ask a modest fee
For checking out your old PC
Your secrets? Sure, they're safe with me
When I'm cleaning Windows™
When I'm cleaning Windows™
When I'm cleaning Windows™