-> "He Was the Very Model of Incompetence in General"
Original Song Title:
"I Am the Very Model of a Modern Major General"
Original Performer:
Gilber and Sullivan
Parody Song Title:
"He Was the Very Model of Incompetence in General"
The Lyrics
He was the very model of incompetence in general,
Whose “election”: insurrection; dank Gott term was ephemeral!
He staged a coup ’cause in ’02 the public was hysterical,
And so they got Hollywood slut—bona fides chimerical.
We drank Kool-Aid because it played well at first—it seemed quaffable,
But soon we knew—and soon we’d rue—this bad actor deemed laughable
We hadn’t learned that actors turned to governors were not gut news—
We tried it once, got Ron the dunce and then got stuck with galoot views.
Done just that once with Ron the dunce; both out to lunch and not gut news.
There was the day he replaced Gray [Davis], and soon there came a paradox:
The state was broke, new guy blew smoke; we’d not had our fare share o’ shocks.
He’d promised that he’d trim the fat, and everyone gabbed, “Fabulous!”
He was all wet and now the debt’s like a gut that’s all flab to bust.
He was hell-sent and was hell-bent on going on a spending spree,
Came from L.A.; came hell to pay—there would not be a mending spree.
Implored that Kolifornee-a would financially sin no more.
His lips, moving, and thus proving: we’d heard this BS din before.
How do you know when a pol blows smoke? His lips move, there’s din galore.
We got the bills for folly, frills foisted off by this duly sworn
Leader of state; not long the wait to find out he was truly born
To be our bane, to cause us pain, yet in the ’06 general
Election our selection pow’r gave him four more—incredible!!
He’s a f**kup, yet we stuck up for him in ’06 general.
Predictably, inevit’bly, state continued unravelin’—
Legislators and governor, like petulant kids cavilin’.
Sacramento: bagman gents go to grab their swag from fatty cats;
They snare the loot and wear nice suits. . .gladrag-haberdashed natty rats.
The “Governator” was a traitor to his pledge that money’d be
Quite wisely spent. He’s helped by gents as well gals that monkeys’d be
Ashamed to know because they blow our dough by acting slatternly,
That is, they’re ho’s; and no ape goes to chimp pimp chatt’rin’, “Fatten me!”
Sacramento: if you should go, you’ll soon be acting slatternly.
The gov’s an ape from brow to nape, engaged most days back-scratchingly,
A chimp that primps while the state limps. . .a simian trimmed fashion’bly.
We gain knowledge not from college but from observing intently
Their behavior; they ain’t saviors, cruising in Porsches, in Bentleys.
In fact, in matters veritably scammeral, the pinnacle
They’ve reached; while we set breach, ready for steeled reach that be binnacle-
shaped and ain’t short, we can report; we’ve reason to be cynical.
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Voting Results
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Pacing: | 3.8 | |
How Funny: | 4.1 | |
Overall Rating: | 3.8 | |
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Total Votes: | 9 |
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