A flight across the puddle; I’m in Texas, in the USA
I’m in ya nation for some study: need to write that new essay
I’m based in Haltom, Fort Worth; there’d be more delights in *Isabel
I’m rubbered up: I bought a few; I’m hopin’ I can jizz a belle

A cruddy smell: a stain of poo; this hooker’s come from Arkansas
A dunderhead; she’s ragged; boy, this simpleton is stark an’ poor
The hair is greasy an’ ears, big; she’s teeming with a lot o’ ticks
(Spoken line)
Ooh, dirty chicks, flirty hicks…rated!
(Resume singing)
She’ll do for sinful acts; I bet her lair has seen a lot o’ tricks

(She’ll do for sinful acts; I bet her pair ain’t clean: no lot o’ licks)
(She’ll do for ‘skin pull acts; I bet her “there” has seen a lot o’ dicks)
(She’ll do for chin full acts; I wonder where she’s been; should do a lot o’ *flicks)

I’m off to meet the Fiddlegirl; my motive is nefarious
For if she has terrific friends, I hope to straddle various
A *raft o’ flowers: *riggin’ marks, nil; I’m a fool, and monkeyin’
She’s pissed: the final no go; I won’t see ‘em, so no gunkyin’

(An after hours gig in Clarksville, in a cool and funky inn)
(I’ve missed the “final loco”; I won’t see ‘em, so no Monkee-in’)

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I know that Sissy Spacek is from Quitman; she was Carrie White
I won’t see Barrence Carter, who was better known as Barry White
“The Walrus” was a giant on the waves of radio poppyness
His sonics form the core of ev’rythin’ that’s love an’ soppiness

I…know well of Charlie’s sassy belles; were always wow if scuffling
I’ll try to see his concert, if ol’ Scaggs is Lido Shuffling
An’ I dig Chuck; a fist, of which is hard if used for bashin’ ‘em
(Spoken line)
Ooh, thrashin’ ‘em, smashin’ ‘em…love it!
(Resume singing)
He’ll bristle if they stare, an’ then he’ll pretty soon be mashin’ ‘em

(Their diss’ll make him flare, an’ then he’ll pretty soon be dashin’ ‘em)
(Some miss’ll make him care, an’ then he’ll pretty soon be trashin’ ‘em)
(He’ll whistle at her pair, an’ then she’ll pretty soon be up for flashin’ ‘em)

The guy who died at forty two was fabbytastic Freddie King
I knew who Jerry Hall was when the Jagger was her steady thing
His sport: he battered ev’ry rival; Anderson: unstoppable
He was the wres’ler “Austin”; he’s not gangly; was undroppable

(His sport is shattered; ever trifle, and a con; it’s boo-able)
(It’s not the best, an’ often is too spangly and unviewable)

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So sad, now Stevie Ray is dead; when “Wham!” is on, it’s merryin’
The ‘copter fell that night an’ left his brother, Jimmie, buryin’
Hope much, that John’s with angels; he met Chapman, then he heard a shot
And talkin’ ‘bout them angels, in my dreams, that Farrah purred a lot

When Anna Smith wed Marshall it was made to be all Dallas-y
That I said, “More for cash fix, than for love”, is not a fallacy
He’d stalk, that Richard Ramirez; in LA he was killin’ ‘em
(Spoken line)
Ooh, I say, that’s a bad one, *innit; killin’ ‘em; jail… no, no, no, no…kill ‘im!
(Resume singing)
Want *licks o’ Henley, in some Eagles pop; he’s ever chill in ‘em

(Want licks o’ Billy, as a ZZ Top: he’s ever skill in ‘em)
(Want flicks o’ Weller as a Robocop; was ever *brill in ‘em)
(Hot chicks, had Larry, as a Dallas fop; was never slow in drillin’ ‘em)

As for junkie Janis Joplin, she was sucky and a hippy chick
An’ when she did that *brown, she was a grinning, awful, trippy chick
So now in matters Tex an’ famous, through ‘em all, I’ve had a trawl
I’d like to do some more of, but it’s time for home; I’ve had a fall

(Coz now in matters Mex an’ mugshot, through ‘em all, I’ve had a trawl)
(Some *tyke I view; I’m sure of; now it’s time for home; not had a ball)