-> "Deranged Electoral Throng"
Original Song Title:
"The Major General's song"
Parody Song Title:
"Deranged Electoral Throng"
The Lyrics
I am a scary nutball; I’m deranged, require electrical
shots to my brain to stop the pain I cause in times electoral.
I’m in the news. . .you’d think my ruse would be to act respectable.
Appallingly, trolls poll for me; I should be unelectable.
Acquainted—ain’t—with science (taint!) or matters mathematical,
except for how to scrape and bow and count till Mammon cache is full.
No need to ask: I’ll see you bask, at volume, in my rotten views.
“Why aren’t you in the loony bin?” some ask; “How have you gotten loose?”
Foie gras? That’s nah! What’s in our craw is golden and we’ve gotten goose.
As if at night I light to blight your dreams, mite like an incubus—
when in I’ve snuck in, it’s you I f**k . . .not just when sun gives way to dusk.
You wake, you snooze, you take the screws both diurnal and nocturnal.
To fog folks’ eyes, I log my lies should they slog through my mock journal.
You wake, you snooze; I make the blues both diurnal and nocturnal.
Though hog am I, I log each lie should law eyes gog my mock journal.
I’m no maven and so craven; I blare more than my share o’ schlock;
when you hear me, you will query: “How does this airhead dare t’ talk?!
He makes me gag; he’s just a bag that’s gaseous and globulus,
prefaced by ‘douche’; loutish and louche. The victims of this robber, us!”
I gotta go, got Kochs to blow, and oh so many hinds to buss.
I’ll full admit, I’m full of shit and too much of a slime to trust.
On left or right, I am a blight, and I have always been a whore.
And for attack I keep a flack that’s crackerjack at spin an’ more.
Parties be damned; by both you’re scammed; we rape you, then raise din galore.
I’ve you’ve a hunch I’m out to lunch, should be scrunched in a uniform
with back buckles—I drag knuckles, believe in myths and unicorns.
In short in things political, I’m rank and hypocritical.
I am a scary nutball; I’m deranged, beyond nitwitical.
In short in things political, I pander, hypocritical;
I am a scary scuzzball. My palaver’s pithless, pitiful!
Out from my trap, a fount of crap that’s interspersed with cavilin’.
Big bucks I “earn” while country burns and is by turns unravelin’.
I’m gonna get the gelt, you bet! everywhere I find there is fat;
I am a rat fed by fat cats. And that, I’ve spat, is where it’s at!
I am a stooge for outfit huge that gets rocks off on gunnery;
like Taliban, I pant to ban girls’ plans—scram to a nunnery!
Food stamps for all, that is my call; enjoin the gals, act slatternly—
as long as I’ve a slice of pie from high-price johns that fatten me.
Constituents? Congress is meant to perk-trough in a fattin’ spree.
Expecting ire, I now inquire—it may be met rhetoric’lly—
hip that I mix in these writ shtiks semantics metaphoric’lly:
next time I run, well, will you shun me in process political,
or will you say, “Hey, that’s OK, they all are hypocritical.”
Regardless, though, by now you know: we all require electrical
jolts to the brain; dolts, were the bane of the process electoral.
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Voting Results
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Pacing: | 5.0 | |
How Funny: | 5.0 | |
Overall Rating: | 5.0 | |
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Total Votes: | 7 |
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Voting Breakdown
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| 5 | | 7 | |
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