There's no biscuits like my biscuits
Like no biscuits, I know
Main ingredient's a secret powder
Fluffy light just like a kite on springs
Of me, Gram in Heaven would be prouder
They would've wowed her,
Lifted her wings..

There's no baking like my baking
Friends keep stuffing them so
Side'd with a turkey - they're Thanksgiving gold
Hot and steamy, ov-en mitt hold
Not a food to set around and gather mold
Munch now, my biscuit chow!

Not Rachel, not Paula, not Nadia G.
Could ever be outcooking me, because
Dear Rachel, and Paula, and Nadia G.
Bake goods devine but next to mine, they're flaws
My cooking gear's in atmospheric high
Fools finish last in contests when they try..

There's no biscuits like my biscuits
Try one, you'll know it's so
They're a mouth experience beyond thrilling
Melted butter makes' em hit the heights
Gonna' market them and make a killing
Food so fulfilling, you'll bless all bites..

There's no pan treats like my pan treats
Like sun blossoms, they glow
Angels ask for my buns when they order out
The Lord's own choice, Hear his mighty shout
So good, Satan would, without a doubt
Eat these - down in Hades..

(There's no biscuits like my biscuits
Like no biscuits you know))
Nabisco made a bid to buy my secret
Many other offers came in, too
Highest bid so far's a million - three bet
I'll wait and see yet, which deal to do..

There's no biscuits like my biscuits
I smile thinkin' cash flow
Yesterday squeezed piggy banks to gas my car,
Owned a four room shack, saved coupons in a jar
Now I've got a cooking show - and I'm a star
Let's go, rollin' in dough!!!

Let's go, rollin' in dough!!!