Spooned eighteen bowled beans, and filled up to the hip
All day I'd been a' snackin' and a' smackin' hungry lips
Crispy'd up a slab a' bacon and inhaled some turnip greens
Got to feelin' kind 'a skittish, popped a Gas-X from my jeans

(Chorus)
It fired my guns and the grubbish started hummin'
I let one fly in Denny's, and it cleared the aisle, I know
I fired once more, and customers were runnin'
Called me Mr.Rippy..as on out the door they go..

It puffed up my liver, like a bloated hideous son
And I must've had a hundred of 'em loaded in my bum
Let 'em all fly, sounded like a bugle ring
Folks couldn't take my rotten tail - they started exiting

I fired rear guns and more grubbish came a' bummin'
It scattered folks in Walmart, made 'em clear the aisle, I know
I fired some more, poor customers were runnin'
Hustlin' and zippy..as on out the door they go

(Phhhhttttttt, phhhhtttttt.. ah, one, two, three, four)

Old Hickory smoked was their lucky nasal prize
High aroma bad as dead rats hit 'em right between the eyes
Spittin' fire from my colon, feelin' hot as heck
With blazin' double barreled buns - a green cloud, looked like Shrek

I fired more guns and the riddish kept a' bummin'
I let 'em fly at Target, scored a bullseye don'cha' know
I fired once more, and customers kept runnin'
Flashin' finger flippies,.as on out the door they go

(Phhhhtttttt, phhhhttttt..ah, one, two, three, four)

Yeah, they ran out the front door and they ran out the back door,
Headin' off for the bushes, wild as rabbits on the go
They ran real fast, so the bad air wouldn't catch 'em
Wishin' they were hippies and a flower girl would show

I fired more rancid till I plumb ran out a' brown
From a deli, grabbed spice taters and some bacon, 'nother pound
Two loaves a' rye and cheezy balls - repowered my behind
Once more a human powder keg, with Grand Slam on my mind

I fired rear guns and pollution started hummin'
I let 'em fly in Kmart, and lit up a Blue Light show
I fired once more, the customers are runnin'
Stumblin' and trippy..as on out the door they go

Yeah, they ran out the front door and they ran out the back door,
Headed for the bushes, catchin' breezes as they blow
They ran real fast, so the scent couldn't catch 'em
Wishin' they were hippies, and a flower girl would show

Wishin' they were hippies, and a flower girl would show