His Tiffany jags even more monumental:
Yes, diamonds are this churl’s best friend.
The Tiffany [price] tags are beyond “incidental”;
It seems that this man has problems that are mental.
His diamond mind is without end:
We have now learned that
Two accounts make Tiffany fat.

Has he sold
Some of his gold
So he can go and on diamonds spend?
His big gut is pear-shaped;
Have his sluts got hair draped?
Diamonds are this churl’s best friend.

Tiffany’s. . . .

There may come a time when this ass needs a lawyer,
If diamonds funds he used to spend
Have come from a campaign-contributions deployer
Who might think it not nice
To roll the dice to buy some ice.

He’s the guy
To whom, “Bye-bye!”
Staff said as their employment did end.
They seen that this louse is
A wackjob whose spouse is
Dying—he shtups a girlfriend.

His sordid affairs
Were not strictly Platonic
As wife was nearing mortal end.

He thinks of affairs
As a patriotic tonic,
As when he gets
Off with his pets as if Heffesque.
Slime holds on;
This dude’s a con—
Stories ain’t straight, and so they all bend.
Bullshit lack—not him, he’s
Like on crack at Tiffany’s.

Diamonds! Diamonds!
He seeks the fine stones.
Slut—diamonds for this churl will spend.