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Song Parodies -> "Stented, He's Fixed"

Original Song Title:

"76 Trombones"

Original Performer:

Meredith Wilson

Parody Song Title:

"Stented, He's Fixed"

Parody Written by:

John A. Barry

The Lyrics

From "The Bu'shit Man," my unfinished parody of "The Music Man."In this number, Bush stands alone in a spotlight. He takes a gaudy, caricatured military uniform from a hanger, dons it, and magically metamorphoses into Dick Cheney. A huge map of Iraq is projected onto the stage floor. The stage lights come up to reveal a military marching band at the edge of the map. As Bush/Cheney starts to lead the band across the map, the band members sing.
Stented, He's Fixed

Stented, he's fixed; thrombosed, he leads the charade.
Having hundreds of ways to do sleight of hand.
He is followed by rows and rows of Bush père/Reagan bozos
The dregs of Ronnie's infamous band.

Stented, he's fixed; he must miss the morning sun.
In one of his ten coffins he's supine.
He's lived hundreds of years; he needs
Fresh blood, upon which he feeds. . .
Business whores of ev'ry shape and kind.

Now we're doing copper duty in Iraq—platoons
Thundering, blundering, getting shot each day.
Bellicose euphemisms; deficit zooms,
Zooms and zooms—while he gets big fat pay.

Mounted cannon protect his pacemaker's battery.
The chambers thundering louder than before.
Challengers who seek the prize
Must trump him—perhaps improvise
But somehow get a higher voting score!

(Repeat)

(The band exits to the sound of explosions.)

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
Overall Score: 



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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.2
How Funny: 4.4
Overall Rating: 4.3

Total Votes: 10

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
 1
 1
 
 2   0
 0
 0
 
 3   2
 0
 1
 
 4   0
 2
 1
 
 5   7
 7
 7
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Agrimorfee - August 12, 2004 - Report this comment
Now this was great! Thought-provokinbg satire abounds...now I defy you to parody "Rock Island"! Good luck on the rest of it. 555
Johnny D - August 12, 2004 - Report this comment
Trouble In Crawford Texas!
alvin rhodes - August 12, 2004 - Report this comment
bravo...5s
John Barry - August 12, 2004 - Report this comment
Thanks, all. Agrimorphee, I agree this is the most successful of the bunch. I may take the challenge.
Guy - August 12, 2004 - Report this comment
Is there nothing left of John Kerry? Must admit this was rather amusing. I'll give you 5s on satirical value alone.
Mari D - August 13, 2004 - Report this comment
You had a great idea, parodying "The Music Man." Wish I'd thought of it. But I HAVE thought that GWB took acting lessons from Ronnie.
Johnny D - October 20, 2004 - Report this comment
JB, I need to ask you a favor..... I have a parody that I would like to submit for the next posting, but I just now discovered that it's very similar to this one. I just wrote a parody of "Seventy-Six Trombones" called "Vice President Cheney's Theme", and it's about Cheney's health, his stents, and it uses the word "thromboses" a number of times. It is actually very different in tone and wording from this one, JB, but these similarities are such that I wanted to go on record asking your permission first so nobody could accuse me of plagiarism. If you wish, I could either (a) email you a copy first, or (b) post a thread on the messageboard with the parody before I submit it so you can say yea-or-nay. Please advise, thanks!
John Barry - October 20, 2004 - Report this comment
Johnny D alerted me to his "thromboses" parody of "76 Trombones" and asked if I minded if he posted it. Absolutely not. In fact, I'm looking forward to his take on the venerable Music Man classic.
Johnny D - October 20, 2004 - Report this comment
Thanks very much, JB. I've submitted it for the next posting.
Ashkicksass - October 21, 2004 - Report this comment
Excellent.

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