Down at the Mardi Gras
Last evening there I saw
A lady with an awsome bosom
One, to drop your jaw...

She 'ad A Lovely Pair o' Coconuts,
Bountiful, and standin' pert n' high
Big ones, Oh yeah...Just as big as yer 'ead
'Couldn't be missed, top o' the list
A real show piece, I said

She 'ad A Lovely Pair o' Coconuts,
Blossoming with cleavage, low and rich
Ohh what a sight, best boobies of the night,
Offered beads to see 'em all, and gave 'em a pitch

Offered beads to see 'em all, I gave 'em a pitch
Offered beads to see 'em all, I gave 'em a pitch
She threw 'em back at me,
And yelled out, angrily
"these are tits you'll never see, you sonofabitch!"

Instrumental

She 'ad a Lovely Pair 'o Coconuts
Mammaries like Pamela's times two
(One, two, one, two)
Some gems, from "them's...forty kids could be fed..
(Or fifty)
Would love to lean, right in between and nuzzle till I'm dead!

Oh, they were such A Lovely Pair o' Coconuts
Those hoots could give a minister an itch
Next to that babe, a bearded guy like Abe
In his hand, was shining bright, a knife blade, switch

He meant business, now!

Offered beads to see 'em all, I gave 'em a pitch
(Harmony!)
Offered beads to see 'em all, I gave 'em a pitch
Guy threw the knife at me
It missed, but, just barely
Said, "My wife's tits you'll never see, you sonofabitch!

(Instrumental)

My wife's tits you'll never see you sonofabitch!