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Song Parodies -> "I'll De-member You"

Original Song Title:

"I Remember You"

Original Performer:

Nat King Cole

Parody Song Title:

"I'll De-member You"

Parody Written by:

John A. Barry

The Lyrics

You wish a transgendy?
You're a gynophile.
"Schlong gone!" you crow.
I'll deball with my knives and file.

I'll de-member you.
You were Ron, but soon you will be Sue,
You'll be a miss, yes, schmoe,
No roe, though.

I'll de-member you.
Yule, be gone--no head
Of reddish hue; I'll hew,
Then rift I'll sew.

I'll de-member you. . .
A distaff belle.
No part to swell; pike ain't
In your retinue.

A "wife" will ensue.
You'll be caved, vacated, and deballed--
No drill, a fem fault.
I'm a swell M.D.--
I'll de-member you.

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 LittleLots
Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 9

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
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 2   0
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 3   0
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 4   0
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 5   9
 9
 9
 

User Comments

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alvin - October 14, 2008 - Report this comment
title of the day...a cutting commentary
Andy Primus - October 14, 2008 - Report this comment
Excellent - love the title
littleCUPCaker - October 14, 2008 - Report this comment
Oh dear, Pirate Jack, no more ~W. M. D~s ? ? (Weapons of Male Destruction)
John Barry - October 14, 2008 - Report this comment
Thanks, Alvin, Andy, Cakes.
Guy - October 14, 2008 - Report this comment
What can I say John - You don't dick around when you write this stuff.- Your graphic depiction of the procedure made me squirm uncomfortably. So now that I have caught my breath let me tell you a funny but totally true story of a transgender. This parody reminded me of this person. I could not make this up. It is absolutely true:

My job location is a US Army base and I work IT as a network enterprise administrator. One of my co-workers in his early fifties was a very conservative IT engineer. Let’s just say this person’s name is Joseph for ease in writing and reading. Joe dressed very conservatively and was a real down to earth human being. He sported a short well trimmed full beard and had a wee bit more than a slight dislike for authority. Joe did some time in the US Army during the Vietnam era.

One day Joe changed his name to Josie. He started hormone treatments and grew breasts. His beard was gone and then he began to dress as a female. He is now she and wishes to be referred to in the feminine. Josie wanted permission to use the Ladies room but that was not allowed since Josie was still biologically male. Josie needed to live as a female for at least a year before she could elect to have sexual reassignment surgery.

Josie would use the men’s room but never the urinal. After a short while I became used to seeing what looked like a female from time to time in a stall in the men’s room. All the men at my workplace became used to it after a while.

One day I went into the men’s room and Josie was in one of the stalls. Showing under the stall was a pair of feet in open toe heels and the toe nails painted and even a tiny toe ring on one of the toes.

I concluded my business and exited the restroom. I paused at the water fountain for a drink and around the corner came a soldier that did not work in my building. The soldier entered the men’s room and as quickly as he went in he rushed out. He looked dead at the sign that said Men and scratched his head.

I said to the soldier. “Yeah you got it right – that is the men’s room no matter what you saw in there. It’s just one of our engineers going through some kind of change of life. You can go in and do your business, I assure you he is harmless”.

The soldier replied, “Hooah! Don’t ask, don’t tell.”

Fine write sir John. And Josie retired about two years ago from federal service. Now whack yourself off a few 5's.. =;-)
UnKnownVO - October 21, 2008 - Report this comment
Oh OK, . . . Oh OK, Pirate Jack Barrow, M.D. so you're a swell Doc; but what those about w.M.d.'s ? ?
Z - September 11, 2012 - Report this comment
Z

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