South Dakota, that’s where Jim[1] is leavin’ on a plane
With microfilm treat; now he’ll retreat
On the wind, remain CIA’s bane.
South Dakota’s where his plans are fouled up by the guy[2]
Whom Jim surely thought f**ked, surely not
Able to help halt the plan to fly.

Although the plane’s able to land,
Jim can’t scram and he lands in the slam.
Can’t get away;
It just isn’t his day
In jail he’s stayin’
Doin’ time in South Dakota
He’ll not rush more today.

South Dakota was for him a grievous goddam pain.
By the Feds he’s beat; he’s lost his sweet-
heart[3] to Cary, who’s—granted—his bane.
South Dakota, where his plans were fouled up by the guy
Who has surely got her surely hot:
She’ll be Archiballed—the time is nigh.

They’re going now over the land
In a phallus-shaped train, because banned
Back in the day: explicitness. . .no way!
No way displaying
Their screwin’ time. . .that’s Dakota,
South Dakota today.


[1]James Mason as Phillip Vandamm, a charming sociopath trying to spirit McGuffin microfilm out of the country from his home in S. Dakota.
[2]Roger Thornhill, as played by Cary Grant, the wrongly accused man who eventually thwarts Vandamm’s plan.
[3]Eva Marie Saint as Eve Kendall, CIA agent who has infiltrated Vandamm’s ring and is sleeping with him. She and Thornhill get involved, complicating her mission.