Well, Ya Got Trouble, my friends,
Right here, I say Trouble,
That dog of Leona Helmsley's
Why no, I'm not a dog hater..had me some good dogs, too
And I'm not comin' down on pets, in general..
I consider childhood hours that I spent with a dog quite precious
Owned a beautiful Collie, and a Basset, then a mixed breed
Used to teach 'em tricks and have fun with a frisbee..nothin' like
a good romp with fam'ly pets..
But, just as I say,
Should use judgement, sense, and maturity with a will's estate
I say, what kinda' boob would go and leave a dog all them millions?
And cut out grand kids!
The telltale sign of a real sick wacko broad...
Yes, I mean that, exactly
But, something we might have expected, past news stories clued us
She was minus some cards..
When she refused to pay taxes,..got her put in jail
Incarcerated there, for twenty one months, fin'lly paroled in
Nineteen ninety four..
Had community service, too
But rumors claimed she farmed that out for a price!
All her employees just hated her, withheld their sal'ries
Cheat'n at backgammon, everyday
Well, I guess that's why they called her "Queen of Mean"
She had one, two, three, four grand kids,
Two were just forgotten!
Fam'ly, but made no diff'rence,
She was an evil witch, female bum
With a capital B,
And that rhymes with D
And that stands for dog!

That broad was wrong!
She spoiled that Maltese, terribly..fed it chef cooked meals
I say, she pampered it with luxury
Had a housekeeper feedin' it..noon-time, supper-time, snack times, too
Had to serve it steamed carrots
Rich cream cheese, always chicken spec'lly grilled
Trouble's eight years old,
Starred in advertising..
Now, a lawsuit is pending,
The housekeeper got bit..
Dog could lose her millions, just because of that bite..

Nipped by Trouble, oh yes,
Now, that she has all that money
You can bet there's gonna' be more litigation,
Law suits, big ones,
Lawyers gonna' line up, mark it in your log
Ya got Trouble, folks!
Right there in Gotham City!
Trouble, with a capital T,
And that rhymes with D,
And that stands for dog!

Cute as pie is this Maltese, stringy hair, eyes like buttons
New Yorkers all call her "Rich Bitch"
Trouble's sparked outrage, as well as fascination
But some say they're gettin'; sick of it all..
Just a mess of big BS,
Exposure, worldwide
Gettin' ridiculous..
They want it to end
And in her will, it seems, that Leona
Said she wants this dog right there beside her
When it dies.
Could be a problem..
Cemetery doesn't want dogs there..
Trouble now moans, and doesn't eat much, and whimpers
Misses mistress..
She's the only one that's mourning
'Cause Leona was not a popular person, quite unlikable!
Now, her flea bag mutt is a millionaire hound
Trouble!

New Yorkers!

Oh, you have got Trouble!
(right there in Gotham City)
Right there in Gotham City!
(Trouble with a capital T and that rhymes with D and that stands for dog!)
That stands for dog!
(you've surely got Trouble)
You've surely got Trouble!
(right there in Gotham City)
Right there!
(gotta' figure out a way to keep that bad press pourin' out like grog)
Her children's children are pissed about Trouble
Trouble! Trouble! Trouble! Trouble!

Oldsters havin' their wills drawn..heed the warning....
.
Don't have trouble like Trouble!
She gave twelve big "Mill" to Trouble!
That broad that they called the "Mean Queen" used a devil's tool!
(Devil's tool!)
Oh yes, she caused trouble Trouble!
(she burst a fam'ly bubble here, with her pet mutt, Trouble)
With a "T"!
(With a capital T!)
That rhymes with D!
(that rhymes with D)
And that stands for dog!
(that stands for dog)