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Song Parodies -> "Whenever I'm Getting Laid"
Original Song Title:
"Whenever I Feel Afraid"
Original Performer:
The King and I
Parody Song Title:
"Whenever I'm Getting Laid"
Parody Written by:
Phil Alexander
The Lyrics
A song about marital infidelity. Not written from any kind of experience, I hasten to add
[HUSBAND]
Whenever I'm getting laid
I'm always circumspect
And say that I'm working late
So my wife won't suspect
I got laid
While getting my end away
I take off all my clothes
And shower till there's no scent
So no one ever knows
I got laid
I always use protection
To make as sure as hell
That when I screw the women I screw
I don't get screwed as well!
'Cause nobody's getting hurt
And I don't commit a crime
I know the wife won't desert
Whenever it is that I'm
Getting laid
However you behave
Ensure the news does not spread far.
You may be depraved
If nobody sees you are
You may be depraved
If nobody sees you are
[WIFE]
The lovebite upon his neck
The lipstick on his clothes
The packet of three is gone
And that is how I knows
He got laid
[HUSBAND / WIFE]
I always use protection / He thinks he's used protection
To make as sure as hell / But no, he could not tell
That when I screw the women I screw / I took a pin and stuck it in
I don't get screwed as well! / And now he's screwed as well
[HUSBAND / (WIFE) ]
'Cause nobody's getting hurt
(He's treating his wife as dirt)
I don't commit a crime
(He'll pay for my lawyer's time)
I know the wife won't desert
(It's time for me to desert)
Whenever it is that I'm
[TOGETHER]
Getting laid
If ever you misbehave
Ensure the news does not spread far
It's worse being a knave
When the whole world knows you are
Whenever I'm getting laid
I'm always circumspect
And say that I'm working late
So my wife won't suspect
I got laid
While getting my end away
I take off all my clothes
And shower till there's no scent
So no one ever knows
I got laid
I always use protection
To make as sure as hell
That when I screw the women I screw
I don't get screwed as well!
'Cause nobody's getting hurt
And I don't commit a crime
I know the wife won't desert
Whenever it is that I'm
Getting laid
However you behave
Ensure the news does not spread far.
You may be depraved
If nobody sees you are
You may be depraved
If nobody sees you are
[WIFE]
The lovebite upon his neck
The lipstick on his clothes
The packet of three is gone
And that is how I knows
He got laid
[HUSBAND / WIFE]
I always use protection / He thinks he's used protection
To make as sure as hell / But no, he could not tell
That when I screw the women I screw / I took a pin and stuck it in
I don't get screwed as well! / And now he's screwed as well
[HUSBAND / (WIFE) ]
'Cause nobody's getting hurt
(He's treating his wife as dirt)
I don't commit a crime
(He'll pay for my lawyer's time)
I know the wife won't desert
(It's time for me to desert)
Whenever it is that I'm
[TOGETHER]
Getting laid
If ever you misbehave
Ensure the news does not spread far
It's worse being a knave
When the whole world knows you are
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Voting Results
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Voting Breakdown
The following represent how many people voted for each category.
| Pacing | How Funny | Overall Rating | |||||||||
| 1 | 2 | 2 | 2 | ||||||||
| 2 | 0 | 1 | 0 | ||||||||
| 3 | 0 | 1 | 2 | ||||||||
| 4 | 3 | 1 | 2 | ||||||||
| 5 | 14 | 14 | 13 |
User Comments
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very insightful and wise advice - I hope you, er, your character don't, er, doesn't get himself screwed despite himself, Phil - 555
Not from experience? What about every Tuesday since the last office party? You always said project progress meetings were never so fun. BTW, the stick had a little blue line on it today when I put it under the jet stream.
Suzy, shhh! You said you'd never tell. Besides, I never told you what my real name was ;-)
DKTOS, but 555 anyway. Insightful, very good.
You had me at the title. The parody was great, too! Have some fives, I promise I didn't puncture them. :)
Way funny! What you gonna do next? How about "Having to Blow You"?
Hmm... I'm not sure that would go down well, PMS ;-)
It is a puzzlement that some heathen gave you ones. This "King" gets fives. How about "Getting to Know You [in a Biblical sense]"?
You're a naughty boy, Phil. Got me with the title. Great parody! 555
The furtive nature of the OS just added to the humour...brilliant work, Phil! 555
That was sa-weeet! Love the wife's portion of the duet. Ha! Excellent.
Did you cheat to make a song this good! Cheater, Cheater, Pumpkin Eater!!!
This will a great piece for any male/female performers (such as we) -- Thanks!
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