Song Parodies -> "Raccoon Poop Flam-be"

Original Song Title:

"Smoke Gets In Your Eyes"

^(MP3)

Original Performer:

"Raccoon Poop Flam-be"

Parody Written by:

The Lyrics

Jack Masten (1927-2010), blind from birth, was the most amazing keyboard player/parodist/wit that Greater Cincinnati ever knew. He could toss off a complete parody (or far more often a hilarious fragment) as effortlessly as he improvised on the organ or piano. He was my mentor ("You jam with music...just jam with words".) and my friend. Just as Franz Xaver Sussmayr finished some of the last works of his teacher Wolfgang Mozart, I will from time to time complete some of Jack's hilarious and often twisted ideas. For this specific parody, Jack provided most of the first eight lines. I'm not sure if they were original or borrowed from others (if you know another source, PLEASE feel free to enlighten me). The last eleven lines are mine, and I hope they fit what came before. Also, if somebody can teach me how to put a ' over a letter, I'd be in your debt. ;D

They asked me how I knew
Raccoon poop is blue.
So I calmly said "You have been misled.
Raccoon poop is red."

Yes, raccoon dung is red -
That can't be denied -
But it's truly said 'though it comes out red,
It turns blue when fried.

So I sought to prove this offbeat thought
And I turned on my range.
Cooked the goop. It threw me for a loop
When I beheld the change.

Then I poured in some wine.
How the pan did shine!
From my play that day came the great gourmet
Raccoon Poop Flam-be'.
(Rather gross I'd say!)
(Eat it? No darn way!)
Raccoon Poop Flam-be'!

Jack also was the only person who never thought that I was ugly-looking...lol. ;D

Previous Parody Added to the Site | Next Parody Added to the Site

Your Vote & Comment Counts

The parody authors spend a lot of time writing parodies for the website and they appreciate feedback in the form of votes and comments. Please take some time to leave a comment below about this parody.

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

TJC - February 08, 2011 - Report this comment

Tewwww funnny! Deglazing you some fives--which, incidentally, are redeemable for Pepto Bismol at any participating stomach pumping station in your area--wait--that'll just make *your* poop red!

Mark Scotti - February 08, 2011 - Report this comment

i cooked with that menu once and like this parody, it was guuuuuud... http://www.amiright.com/parody/70s/allmanbrothersband4.shtml

Wendy Christopher - February 08, 2011 - Report this comment

Utter, utter genius - a class act. In a gross-out sort of way. Full marks all round!

Fiddlegirl - February 08, 2011 - Report this comment

What a character... and Mr. Masten, too! ;) 555

Old Man Ribber - February 10, 2011 - Report this comment

Thanks...and from Jack, too (I had a seance last night)! ;D

Hugh Robertson - May 10, 2012 - Report this comment

There is a word for this kind of thing in Japanese. When you pretend to misunderstand lyrics and make up something absurd in their place, it is called "soramimi", which literally means "empty ear".

Hugh Robertson - May 10, 2012 - Report this comment

oops, the literal meaning is actually "sky ear", but "empty" is obviously the meaning by extension. Not that anybody cares, anyway.

Tom Dailey - October 10, 2014 - Report this comment

Just this morning, I was querying my miscreant HS buddies ('61) about WHO used to sing the alternate lyrics to the song - ours began as "They asked me how I knew, aarvark s*** was blue".. so this version MUST be the origin of it.

fatboy - March 28, 2017 - Report this comment

Not the Platters Jerome Kern / Otto Harbach 1933 Sung in show 'Roberta' by Tamara Drasin First recording Gertrude Niesen 1933

Oldboy - March 28, 2017 - Report this comment

The original lyrics included an old Russian saying: "When your heart's on fire/You must realize/Smoke gets in your eyes." This means, simply, "Love is blind."
As for the origin of this parody, I first heard a close variation of the first few lines in the early 1940s. Jack Masten was a teenager then, so I guess the parody predated his productive years.

Jerry - December 13, 2018 - Report this comment

In the 70s i heard a version "rabbit sxxx was blue"

Geoff Haigh - July 06, 2021 - Report this comment

When the Platters' "Smoke Gets in Your Eyes" came out in 1958, ! was DJ-ing a low power am station at the university town of Sewanee Tenn. I Intro-d the song with: They asked me how I knew racoon sh-t was blue. Well, my friends I said, you have been misled. Racoon sh-t is red. It caught on, and people started singing the paraphrased version -- even with their own add-on stanzas allover town and campus.

Roderick - May 25, 2022 - Report this comment

A buddy brought this to school in the late '50s in a small town in Ontario, Canada. It was almost the same as yours - melody from Smoke Gets in Your Eyes, but it was "They asked me how I knew, bunny poo is blue." etc., slightly different and only one verse. Amazing.

Tom - July 10, 2022 - Report this comment

In the early ‘60’s a friend of mine from Vermont taught me the first verse during a canoe trip in northern Ontario (sub s**t for poop). Ever since, I can’t hear Smoke Gets in Your Eyes without singing it, usually to myself. Thanks for the additional verses.

The author of the parody has authorized comments, and wants YOUR feedback.