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Song Parodies -> "She's a Liverpool Gnome"
Original Song Title:
"In My Liverpool Home"
Original Performer:
Traditional
Parody Song Title:
"She's a Liverpool Gnome"
Parody Written by:
Phil Alexander
The Lyrics
To be fair to the good folk of Liverpool, I've just come home from there and they are not even remotely close to the grotesquerie in this song. But hey, it's only a song, OK?
Chorus:
She's a Liverpool gnome
She's a Liverpool gnome
Her hair's not just greasy, it's dripping with oil
One glimpse of her face makes you flinch and recoil
She looks a bit like a great gothic gargoyle
She's a Liverpool gnome
I met her in Liverpool, down at the bar
A cross between Gandalf and Hedy Lamaar
She wasn't that choosy the comp'ny she kept
And didn't care less 'bout in whose bed she slept
Chorus
She had a complexion like rotting remains
When she spoke, the windows all rattled their panes
Two liquorish allsorts she called them her eyes
And she could crack hazelnuts between her thighs
Chorus
In her moustache I could see she had fleas
And her tits like a ski jump went down to her knees
Maybe not the most glamourous girl that I'd had
But after ten pints, she did not look that bad
Chorus
You might think that this is a side-splitting joke
I could not see the funny side, when I awoke
I ran outside naked, I felt such a prat
So would you if you'd woke up next to that
She's a Liverpool gnome
She's a Liverpool gnome
Her hair's not just greasy, it's dripping with oil
One glimpse of her face makes you flinch and recoil
She looks a bit like a great gothic gargoyle
She's a Liverpool gnome
I met her in Liverpool, down at the bar
A cross between Gandalf and Hedy Lamaar
She wasn't that choosy the comp'ny she kept
And didn't care less 'bout in whose bed she slept
Chorus
She had a complexion like rotting remains
When she spoke, the windows all rattled their panes
Two liquorish allsorts she called them her eyes
And she could crack hazelnuts between her thighs
Chorus
In her moustache I could see she had fleas
And her tits like a ski jump went down to her knees
Maybe not the most glamourous girl that I'd had
But after ten pints, she did not look that bad
Chorus
You might think that this is a side-splitting joke
I could not see the funny side, when I awoke
I ran outside naked, I felt such a prat
So would you if you'd woke up next to that
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| 5 | 5 | 5 | 3 |
User Comments
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In My Liverpool Home was written by Pete McGovern who is busy collecting his royalty from this well loved song, so I hope you got his permission to put it up on this site.
Not a patch on the original. Crap really.
As an old friend of Pete McGovern, I don't think he would object. His great song is itself a sort of parody (based on the song Strawberry Roan -- at least the tune and general prosody [yer wha'?]) and has attracted hundreds of "add-ons." My own songs ("Liverpool Lullaby" "Four Quid a Day" "I wish I was back in Liverpool" etc) have all been "parodied" -- it's a sortof complement! AND TALK of ROYALTIES for me or Pete is a BIG LAUGH even when recorded by celebs like Judy Collins & Cilla Black. Here's to the unique SCOUSE HUMOUR Or I'll purra fluke's gob on yiz Lord Kelly of KopEnd
Thank you, Stan - I believe I know those songs (and "The Quality of Mersey", IIRC) from a twenty-something year old tape that I can't have listened to for more than ten years... so we're going back a bit :-) I've had the occasional thought of parodying "Four Quid a Day" 'cause I love the doing-as-little-as-you-can-for-the-money picture it paints, but so far the best idea I've come up with is "Four wheels away", or the feeling that you get when you come back to a car to find it up on blocks... anyway, I'll raise a glass tonight to Scousers and their humour, and yourself and Pete. Cheers :-) And I'll try and find that tape, too...
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