I don't understand why we have to spend trillions of dollars and lose countless lives on the "War on Terror". The best thing a jihadist can do is to become a martyr, right? OK, I thought of something that might help. I call it "The Smarter Martyr Starter Kit".We drop a bunch of flyers on every jihadist nation, telling anyone who wants to be a martyr to show up at a certain location at a specific time. They'll all show up (yes, coolers are permitted). We'll set up an arcade with games like "Whack a Mullah" and "Guess Who's Under the Burka?". There will be camel rides for the kiddies and, at the end of the day, we'll have fireworksone really BIG one! We'll even pay the surviving family membersthere won't be that many.They get what they want, we get what we want. There's no need for them to wait months, even years, to achieve their glorious goal.We can call it "Martyr's Day!" Hopefully, this little inspirational song (included in the Kit) will help guide them to the right decision..

*Abu means "father of". It is followed by the eldest son's first name. For example: Abu-Piq (pronounced "peek") but not the other way around....that would be Piq-Abu.