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Song Parodies -> "Santa's Claws Are Running Up Gowns"
Original Song Title:
"Santa Claus Is Coming to Town"
Original Performer:
Traditional
Parody Song Title:
"Santa's Claws Are Running Up Gowns"
Parody Written by:
John A. Barry
The Lyrics
The lecher is stout,
With lecherous eye.
This lecherous lout's
Pell-mell up a thigh.
Santa's claws are runnin' up gowns.
He's wakin' a miss,
His mitts cold as ice.
"Ay, there's the rub!"* shout;
Frottage** is his vice--
"Hamlet" clause, then rubbing you down.
He'll feel you when you're sleeping,
Bedposts will start to shake.
He poses as a man who's good,
But his goodness is a fake, those
Grab-gal hands are stout,
Glad-handing your thigh,
Gat, Glock, you get out--
Five caps in his eye.
Santa's clocked, you're rubbing him out
*From the "To be or not to be" soliloquy
**Deriving sexual gratification by rubbing against people
With lecherous eye.
This lecherous lout's
Pell-mell up a thigh.
Santa's claws are runnin' up gowns.
He's wakin' a miss,
His mitts cold as ice.
"Ay, there's the rub!"* shout;
Frottage** is his vice--
"Hamlet" clause, then rubbing you down.
He'll feel you when you're sleeping,
Bedposts will start to shake.
He poses as a man who's good,
But his goodness is a fake, those
Grab-gal hands are stout,
Glad-handing your thigh,
Gat, Glock, you get out--
Five caps in his eye.
Santa's clocked, you're rubbing him out
*From the "To be or not to be" soliloquy
**Deriving sexual gratification by rubbing against people
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Voting Results
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Voting Breakdown
The following represent how many people voted for each category.
| Pacing | How Funny | Overall Rating | |||||||||
| 1 | 1 | 1 | 1 | ||||||||
| 2 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 3 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 4 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 5 | 14 | 14 | 14 |
User Comments
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Santa sure likes three times the hos!
Hilarious! 555
Gee, it must be nearly Christmas! :-) I love a bit of festive fandangling, and this was a beaut! 555
A nice, modest, little piece, JB - or to put another way - the best damned parody of this oft-parodied OS I've ever seen...5's ~ ~ ~
personally i loved it, but santa's definitely puttin' ya on the "naughty" list
You're getting fives from us, but coal from Big Red.
Great job. 555
Thanks, Jack, Chris, Kristof, Paul, Alvin, Michael, Jason!
Sliding up her Chimney, eh? Fi-Fi-Fives!
Bad Santa! Good parody. 555
When a man's age is higher than the number of sperm he can deliver (should he actually get the chance) he'd probably drink himself jolly and act like that. BTW, I'm delivering 555.
Bad Santa!...good parody!
So that's what that was... 5-5-5
Omg, this is hilarious! Five counts of molestation from me!
I can't get the Jingle Bell's tune out of my head as I sing this...is it me or is this a bad parody..oh it is me...my bad!!
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