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Song Parodies -> "Santa's Claws Are Running Up Gowns"

Original Song Title:

"Santa Claus Is Coming to Town"

Original Performer:

Traditional

Parody Song Title:

"Santa's Claws Are Running Up Gowns"

Parody Written by:

John A. Barry

The Lyrics

The lecher is stout,
With lecherous eye.
This lecherous lout's
Pell-mell up a thigh.
Santa's claws are runnin' up gowns.

He's wakin' a miss,
His mitts cold as ice.
"Ay, there's the rub!"* shout;
Frottage** is his vice--
"Hamlet" clause, then rubbing you down.

He'll feel you when you're sleeping,
Bedposts will start to shake.
He poses as a man who's good,
But his goodness is a fake, those

Grab-gal hands are stout,
Glad-handing your thigh,
Gat, Glock, you get out--
Five caps in his eye.
Santa's clocked, you're rubbing him out


*From the "To be or not to be" soliloquy
**Deriving sexual gratification by rubbing against people

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.7
How Funny: 4.7
Overall Rating: 4.7

Total Votes: 15

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
 1
 1
 
 2   0
 0
 0
 
 3   0
 0
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 4   0
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 5   14
 14
 14
 

User Comments

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Jack Wilson - December 01, 2006 - Report this comment
Santa sure likes three times the hos!
Chris Kilo - December 01, 2006 - Report this comment
Hilarious! 555
Kristof Robertson - December 01, 2006 - Report this comment
Gee, it must be nearly Christmas! :-) I love a bit of festive fandangling, and this was a beaut! 555
Paul Robinson - December 01, 2006 - Report this comment
A nice, modest, little piece, JB - or to put another way - the best damned parody of this oft-parodied OS I've ever seen...5's ~ ~ ~
alvin rhodes - December 01, 2006 - Report this comment
personally i loved it, but santa's definitely puttin' ya on the "naughty" list
Michael Pacholek - December 01, 2006 - Report this comment
You're getting fives from us, but coal from Big Red.
Jason - December 01, 2006 - Report this comment
Great job. 555
John Barry - December 01, 2006 - Report this comment
Thanks, Jack, Chris, Kristof, Paul, Alvin, Michael, Jason!
Matthias - December 01, 2006 - Report this comment
Sliding up her Chimney, eh? Fi-Fi-Fives!
carol - December 01, 2006 - Report this comment
Bad Santa! Good parody. 555
Peter Andersson a.k.a K1chyd - December 01, 2006 - Report this comment
When a man's age is higher than the number of sperm he can deliver (should he actually get the chance) he'd probably drink himself jolly and act like that. BTW, I'm delivering 555.
AFW - December 01, 2006 - Report this comment
Bad Santa!...good parody!
The Charnstar - December 01, 2006 - Report this comment
So that's what that was... 5-5-5
Yoidy - December 01, 2006 - Report this comment
Omg, this is hilarious! Five counts of molestation from me!
Spoof-man - December 03, 2006 - Report this comment
I can't get the Jingle Bell's tune out of my head as I sing this...is it me or is this a bad parody..oh it is me...my bad!!

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