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Song Parodies -> "Molly Malone.. revisited"

Original Song Title:

"Molly Malone"

Original Performer:

Traditional

Parody Song Title:

"Molly Malone.. revisited"

Parody Written by:

Phil Alexander

The Lyrics

In Dublin's Fair City
Where the girls are so pretty
I first set my eyes on sweet Molly Malone
In her fishnets and heels
With the blokes copping feels
All the cocky young muscles, just five, five Euro!

Chorus
Just five, five Euro!
Just five, five Euro!
All the cocky young muscles, pay five, five Euro!

She was a streetwalker
And guys paid to pork her
It paid for her heroin habit, the whore
And 'cause I's feeling curious
I paid up my Eurious
Plied my cocky young muscle for five, five Euro

Chorus

She died from infection
Punters hate protection
She never used condoms, did Molly Malone
So let that be the moral
If you do straight or oral
On cocky young muscle for five, five Euro

Chorus

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 LittleLots
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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.4
How Funny: 4.8
Overall Rating: 4.8

Total Votes: 8

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
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 0
 
 2   0
 0
 0
 
 3   0
 1
 1
 
 4   1
 0
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 5   6
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 7
 

User Comments

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Michael Pacholek - September 01, 2010 - Report this comment
Five euros? That's about $6.42 at the moment... So what you're saying is, you get what you pay for?
Old Man Ribber - September 01, 2010 - Report this comment
There is a VERY old similar American parody of this tune (Crying "Soldiers and Sailors - I'm yours for Five Oh!"). I like yours MUCH better, and it's the whole song...not just the first verse. ;D
Patrick - September 01, 2010 - Report this comment
This great old Irish melody came back to me right away. Can't make a living selling fish on the sidewalk anymore. Or maybe you can. For a while, anyway. A lot of blokes would be better off if the only STD they risked was carpal tunnel syndrome.
Fiddlegirl - September 01, 2010 - Report this comment
Oh, my... Loved the "curious/Eurious" pairing! :)
Tommy Turtle - September 01, 2010 - Report this comment
Totally kept expecting a more explicit use of "cock-y" -- congrats for not suck-coming!

For once, I agree with Michael Pacholek (gasp!) --- are the women *really* that cheap? No wonder "England swings like a pendulum do"! ... I don't think you'd like what you can get over here for even the equv of 20 euro.

Vote: 433, but that's in euro. Let's see, at the present conversion rate, (calculate) - hmm, USD = $555.
AFW - September 01, 2010 - Report this comment
Always liked this old Irish folk classic...and you've added a nice modern touch..
Phil Alexander - September 02, 2010 - Report this comment
:-) Thanks all..

I know €5 is a little bit on the cheap side, but I'd rather take liberties with Ms Malone's income than with the scansion

TT - psst, don't let any Irishman hear you suggest that Dublin might be in England.. As it happens, I originally wanted this one as "Cockless and Muscles", but couldn't get it to work.

FG - :) I liked that one, too
TJC - September 02, 2010 - Report this comment
Phil, quick--take this pentacillin!
Phil Alexander - September 02, 2010 - Report this comment
Pentacillin? Is that, like, five times as good? :-)
Tommy Turtle - September 03, 2010 - Report this comment
Phil -- psst, don't let Roger Miller know that his song should have been about Ireland instead of England, and is there really that much difference in price between the two? If so, I'd expect a huge flow of traffic across the bordello border. ;)

"Cockless and Muscles", - sheesh, could toss that off in five minutes.

She ain't got no t*tty
She don't look so pretty
Injecting her thighs with shots: tes-tosterone
Her bikini: reveal
A cl*t like an eel
Maybe cockless, but muscles! On stage, pose, she'll go

Her serratus magnus
And infraspinatus
Her biceps and triceps and rectus, femor'
Are her looks rather curious?
Her gender: mysturious?
Like hard rocks, are her muscles: steroid, steroid show

Applied her injection
Body-build perfection
She'd never need tampons, no pro-gesterone

But one side effect, give her:
Hormones poisoned her liver
Said Doc, "Bad corpuscles"; she died, she died, woe

There -- now you can fill in *one* chorus, lazily write the word "Chorus" two more times instead of actually creating new ones (that discussion was had with Red Ant and others back in 2006 -- expected better from The Phil - shame!), and post it under your name. Don't say I never gave you anything. :-)

Oh, and I confess -- that was closer to ten minutes. :-P

I confess to an advantage, also: In addition to the various areas of knowledge cited at the Meth(ane)-lab-bashing (see TT latest reply to yours), was once a part-owner of a gym and a personal trainer, and trained two *drug-free*, very feminine, women to national and *world* championships in powerlifting and fitness-related events. That was footnoted in the anatomy parody, "Seven-Inch, Thick, Strong Bones In Each Merry Maid:".
http://www.amiright.com/parody/misc/themusicmanmeredithwilson1.shtml

Cheers.

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