This old can, it's been there
Spraddled in most every chair,
With a flip flop, bottom drop,
All, but on a throne..
This old can's worn to the bone

This old can's deep sea dived,
Hem'rroidectomy survived
With a snip, snip, itchy stitch,
Recover-y groan..
This old can could use a clone

This old can's battle scarred,
Increased, decreased, gained, lost lard
Been thru two wars, hit the floors,
From a bigger fist,
This old can has made the list

This old can's marked a bit,
Weird tatoo inscribed on it
Of a bullseye, cheeky high
Novelty, when shone..
This old can is quite well known

This old can's done hard toils,
Through the years..it's popped some boils
Fought a sea gale, caught a whale,
Called a gambler's bluff..
This old can has played it rough

This old can droops and sags
Like a cowboy's saddle bags
Or an old shoe, kangaroo,
Cellulite that sways..
This old can's seen better days

This old can's broke a bronc
Once, got sprayed on by a "skonk"
Froze in wint-ers, wood splint-ers
Surgically removed
But to it I'm still behooved

This old can's through the mill,
Past it's prime, over the hill
But it's pressed "Abes" jumped some babes
Let me tell ya', friend,
This old can has stirred the blend

This old can's veiny blue
Pimply, and hairy, too
Not a real tight, pretty sight,
Like some lifeguard crews
This old can's just good for poos.

This old can's out of blaze,
It has seen it's better days,
Told the "Mortish", 'bout my wish
With the final crash,
This old can will be an ash..

This old can will be an ash