As I was drivin' the ghetto for pleasure
Just munchin' McDonald's, my radio on
My eardrums perked up and my mind started tinglin'
When I heard a voice say somethin' not wrong..

Whoopee Goldberg said, "Get a long little doggie"
Invest in a dachshund, short, but fully grown
Whoopee Goldberg said, "Get a long little doggie"
Then if he goes roamin', can't get far from home

I drove to the pet shop and bought me that doggie
Black was his color, and bobbed was his tail
Barked at some horses when I left the pet shop
Whoopee mentioned no gender, so I got a male

Whoopee Goldberg said, "Get a long little doggie"
Invest in a dachshund, short, but fully grown
Whoopee Goldberg said, "Get a long little doggie"
So when he goes roamin', won't get far from home

I licensed my dachshund and titled him, Bruno
He barked at the doorbell, his deep watch dog song
Although he was pint-sized he growled like a pit bull
My friends all said, my my, your doggie is long

Whoopee Goldberg said, "Get a long little doggie"
Invest in a dachshund, short, but fully grown
Whoopee Goldberg said, "Get a long little doggie"
And when he goes roamin', can't stray far from home

One day as I left for my job at the factory
Forgot to tie Bruno to his house on the lawn
Well, Whoopee can stick it! Now my Bruno's missing
I searched everywhere and that dachshund was gone

Whoopee Goldberg said, "Get a long little doggie"
Invest in a dachshund, short, but fully grown
Whoopee Goldberg said, "Get a long little doggie"
Well, Whoopee you're crazy, found Bruno in Rome

Hey, Whoopie you're crazy, Bruno went to Rome