Oh give me a home like the magazines show
Like I see on HGTV
Where neighbors all wave, and kiddies behave
And they don't all come home about 3 (am)

Homeowners are strange
And some on my street are deranged
I stay out of sight, especially at night
To avoid all the dogs that have mange

How often at night do the sirens ignite
And you hear the wild, maddening throngs
It's just a small town--oh my god, there's a clown
And he's ringing my bell in a thong

Homeowners are strange
And some on my street are deranged
And how I do abhore when they come to the door
To ask me to give them some change

The air sometimes stinks and there's 3 kitchen sinks
Out there, behind our neighbors' house
They got rid of the stove that was out by the road
But they'll never cart off that old couch

Homeowners are strange
One neighbor's yard went up in flames
I should get up at night when there's no one in sight
Put up a street sign---"Dysfunctional Lane"