When you think the toilet paper's gone
and we don't have no more
And the morning finds you pullin out your hair
And you're sittin there just contemplating what you're gonna use
When the rolls are gone, I'll always have a spare

Chorus:
When the rolls are torn asunder
Where's the paper towels, you wonder
But it's not a fatal blunder
When the rolls are gone I'll always have a spare

On a bright, paperless morning
When you're ready now to flush
And you're thinking you don't really have a care
It's a scary situation
And it gives your heart a rush
When you find there ain't no toilet paper there

But you holler out now for me
And I'll get into my stash
I have stowed away with lots of love and care
You don't have to feel so poorly
Cause I'm pretty good with cash
When the rolls are gone I'll always have a spare

Repeat Chorus