Slain belles sign, ’cause they’ve risen,
though their brains have been riven.
None of this stuff’s right,
but I take delight
loggin’ in to dig a bunch o’ scams.
I will say, “Hey, have you heard
’bout the 80-ton bleu curd?!”
This stuff is all wrong, but I go along
loggin’ in to dig a bunch o’ scams.

Walking dead go strolling with the snowman;
in sashays Sasquatch—they march around.
Nessie joins them, but they learn, he’s no fan
of zombie actions taken in the town.
When I’m on, won’t retire
and miss unicorn flyer!
I could go get laid,
but I’m glad I stayed
loggin’ in to dig a bunch o’ scams.

Talking heads are blowing lots of smoke, man,
but I listen to their barkin’ sound.
I’m especially an Alex Jones fan,
but he’s got me so scared my pants are brown.

Get a dose, I’m so willing;
I’m morose when not filling
my eyes and my brain with stuff that’s insane.
Love bullshit and dig a bunch o’ scams.