My vision shows gnomes as o’er the range I roam—
It’s a queer sight I surely must say.
This elfdom’s absurd, but my eyesight ain’t blurred:
I see them clearly every day.

Gnomes, gnomes on the range;
it’s a queer sight when it comes my way
This elfdom’s absurd—can my eyesight be cured?
Gotta find what the doctor will say.

No redeye has messed with my brain, so I guess
it’s not DT’s that’s making me squirm.
So I have no wrecked liver or fingers that quiver.
There’s another one, there on that berm!

Gnomes, gnomes on the range;
it’s a queer sight that makes my nerves fray.
This elfdom’s absurd, but my eyesight ain’t blurred.
No one else sees them—just me each day.

They’re giving me fright; they look ready to bite
with their teeth, which are sharp and could cause harm.
Wait a minute! I grazed on some weed that grew raised
from the ground…wasn’t grown on the farm.

Oh no! what I ate
was quite clearly what has made me spaced.
Name most often heard for this plant is a word
With Spanish and English interlaced.

Gnomes, gnomes on the range—
they’re a sight that is way beyond strange
This elfdom’s absurd; I learn I can be cured:
I’m deranged, so I must be de-ranged.