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Song Parodies -> "The Ten Commandments"
Original Song Title:
"Twelve Days of Christmas"
Original Performer:
Traditional
Parody Song Title:
"The Ten Commandments"
Parody Written by:
Phil Alexander
The Lyrics
One interesting aside about the Ten Commandments concerns the story that Moses smashed the first set of tablets in a fit of anger, because the Israelites chose to worship the golden calf.
As the tale goes, Moses smashed the tablets of stone, and God said he'd make a new set containing "the words that were on the first" (Exodus 34:1). Except that the words as written on the second tablets, weren't exactly the same as on the first. This got me thinking... so what if it happened more than once?
As sung by Moses:
As the tale goes, Moses smashed the tablets of stone, and God said he'd make a new set containing "the words that were on the first" (Exodus 34:1). Except that the words as written on the second tablets, weren't exactly the same as on the first. This got me thinking... so what if it happened more than once?
As sung by Moses:
On the first stone commandment that YHVH gave to me:
Thou shalt have no gods before ME
On the second stone commandment that YHVH gave to me:
Worship no other
For I'm an extremely jealous deity
On the third stone commandment that YHVH gave to me:
Thou shalt not seethe a kid
In its mother's milk
And thou MUST NOT commit adult'ry
On the fourth stone commandment that YHVH gave to me:
No graven idols
No molten gods
Observe the feast of weeks
And I told you NO commiting adult'ry
On the fifth stone commandment that YHVH gave to me:
THE FIRST-BORN ARE MINE
The first of thy fruits
And the first wheat
Bring into my house
And no gods commiting adult'ry
On the sixth stone commandment that YHVH gave to me:
Six days of working
THOU SHALT NOT STEAL
The fat of my feast
Shall not remain
All night until morn
And moreover: NO commiting adult'ry
On the seventh stone commandment that YHVH gave to me:
Seventh day for resting
Six more for working
THOU SHALT NOT COVET
The feast of unleven'd bread
Shalt thou keep in the month
When ear is on the corn
Did I mention: NO adultery?
On the eighth stone commandment that YHVH gave to me:
Covet not thy neighbour
Nor his wife or oxen
Nor his maidservants
NOR HIS WIFE'S ASS
No molten fruits
Nor graven weeks
Kids in mother's milk
And I won't repeal the one on adult'ry
On the ninth stone commandment that YHVH gave to me:
Thou shalt not bear
Any false witness
No little fibbing
(Except when I tellst thou)
THOU SHALT NOT LIE
No killing first-borns
Shalt not steal in vain
Honour jealous gods
For the last time: NO ADULTERY
On the tenth stone commandment that YHVH gave to me:
Thou shalt not covet
Nor bear false witness
Thou shalt not steal
Nor commit adult'ry
Keep the Sabbath holy
THOU SHALT NOT KILL
Honour mom and dad
No graven pix
Take not my name in vain
And have no other gods before me
Thou shalt have no gods before ME
On the second stone commandment that YHVH gave to me:
Worship no other
For I'm an extremely jealous deity
On the third stone commandment that YHVH gave to me:
Thou shalt not seethe a kid
In its mother's milk
And thou MUST NOT commit adult'ry
On the fourth stone commandment that YHVH gave to me:
No graven idols
No molten gods
Observe the feast of weeks
And I told you NO commiting adult'ry
On the fifth stone commandment that YHVH gave to me:
THE FIRST-BORN ARE MINE
The first of thy fruits
And the first wheat
Bring into my house
And no gods commiting adult'ry
On the sixth stone commandment that YHVH gave to me:
Six days of working
THOU SHALT NOT STEAL
The fat of my feast
Shall not remain
All night until morn
And moreover: NO commiting adult'ry
On the seventh stone commandment that YHVH gave to me:
Seventh day for resting
Six more for working
THOU SHALT NOT COVET
The feast of unleven'd bread
Shalt thou keep in the month
When ear is on the corn
Did I mention: NO adultery?
On the eighth stone commandment that YHVH gave to me:
Covet not thy neighbour
Nor his wife or oxen
Nor his maidservants
NOR HIS WIFE'S ASS
No molten fruits
Nor graven weeks
Kids in mother's milk
And I won't repeal the one on adult'ry
On the ninth stone commandment that YHVH gave to me:
Thou shalt not bear
Any false witness
No little fibbing
(Except when I tellst thou)
THOU SHALT NOT LIE
No killing first-borns
Shalt not steal in vain
Honour jealous gods
For the last time: NO ADULTERY
On the tenth stone commandment that YHVH gave to me:
Thou shalt not covet
Nor bear false witness
Thou shalt not steal
Nor commit adult'ry
Keep the Sabbath holy
THOU SHALT NOT KILL
Honour mom and dad
No graven pix
Take not my name in vain
And have no other gods before me
I thing the poor thing was getting confused, but at least he got 'em right at the end.. maybe he'd better keep taking the tablets ;-)
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User Comments
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Awesome. Lol. The repetition of the adultry one was a good idea. The whole thing was a good idea. Matches the pace perfectly..... ok i'll shut up and give you the 555 you deserve for this one.
I take it you're not a churchgoer :-) Of course, with the amount of knowledge you demonstrate about the OT, you obviously were at one time.... I gave this 222, because I think it is written in anger and that's not the spirit of parody is it?
great concept....lol...thou shalt not get a bad score from me
Great idea Philbo
What a great concept, I can definitely see this in a Mel Brooks film.
Brilliant! I give you 555's. And much cattle.
Thou shall not masterbate or I will kill a kitten.
:-)
Rex - that'd be kind of fun, though I think "The Ten Commandments" as a film title's already been taken
John - You've left enough comments on some of my other parodies: you might realize by now that it's not written in anger, more in the spirit of nose-tweaking...
Strangely enough, although I'm no Judeo-Christian type, I follow nearly all the above. Especially that bit about adultery ;-)
Rex - that'd be kind of fun, though I think "The Ten Commandments" as a film title's already been taken
John - You've left enough comments on some of my other parodies: you might realize by now that it's not written in anger, more in the spirit of nose-tweaking...
Strangely enough, although I'm no Judeo-Christian type, I follow nearly all the above. Especially that bit about adultery ;-)
'the words as written on the second tablets, weren't exactly the same as on the first' What a strange theory. If the first set of tablets lasted from the time Moses came down from the mountain till they were dashed to pieces on a golden calf, how would anyone have time to read and memorize them? Also, Moses wrote out the second set per God's instruction, God didn't make the second set. Still, 5's for the creativity and originality.
But surely, Tim, the Bible is God's word and therefore accurate... in which case if you compare Exodus 20 with Exodus 34, there's a huge difference in what's in the tablets. Still, I guess there's nothing to say that God can't change his mind..
very good work...I giveth fives
....Better keep taking the tablets then.... ;) 5s
Good one Phil, reminds me of the George Carlin piece about TTC. I'll infer from one above commenter that kittens are extinct in Sweden. ;-)
Great parody dad :-)
Are you Yahweh? : ) Btw...do you know why the OS was sung in the first place?
Why should I need to be YHVH? I'm kind of confused, Pat: all I was doing was drawing on two different chapters in Exodus. As for why the OS was sung in the first place, I'm aware of what the symbolism is supposed to show, but not of any particular reason for it.
In England, back in the time when Catholics were persecuted, the song was sung as a means to secretly teach kids their catechism. As for the other it was a halfway joke; I was j/k and at the same time I feel as if this may be taking the whole matter of the 10 commandments kind of lightly. If you didn't mean it that way...forget I said it.
daring and well done 5's
Brilliant and funny, Phil. 555
Great concept, great execution (as they say in Singapore). I particularly enjoy "No graven fruits" and "Shalt not steal in vain." I've been looking for a good OS to list the Ten Commandments; you nailed it.
Also, alas, that thing about "12 Days of Xmas" being a secret catechism is just an urban legend. Snopes.com is a great place to verify stuff like that.
Also, alas, that thing about "12 Days of Xmas" being a secret catechism is just an urban legend. Snopes.com is a great place to verify stuff like that.
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